Title: It started With a Nightmare

Author: Babychan

email. baby_chan1778@yahoo.com

 

Series: Comic

Rating: R

Disclaimer: X-men and all its characters do NOT belong to me.

Summery: Scott’s POV. A little story of how Scott and Ororo started their relationship and the years there after.

 

 

It Started With a Nightmare

 

 

It has been about two months since Jean left the X-men. She was really upset after she made the decision to kill that guy instead of letting me die during Project X ,and because of that I think she’s had enough of playing hero.

However, she did say that she would be back one day, but who knows.

Actually, I think all of has had enough of the hero biz. I know for a fact Bobby has and is thinking about leaving to go home too.

But that’s just the thing, unlike Jean and Bobby, some of us don’t have a home to go back to. We don’t have a family who will love us no matter what our mutation.

Some of us are orphans.

I look at Ororo who is sitting alone on the couch and forcing herself to stay awake. She hasn’t slept well since we escaped the Project.

I feel responsible for that.

I promised her once, after she joined the X-men that I would protect her. And then, when it really mattered, I failed her. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for that. Out of all of us, I think her experience during the Project was the worst. Sabretooth made sure of that. That bastard’s comment of “She’s our girlfriend now” still rings heavily in my ears.

“Take a picture Scott, it lasts longer.”

I startle at her words. I didn’t even realize that I was still staring at her. “Sorry Ororo, I...I was just thinking about something. I wasn’t staring at you.”

She looks skeptical but drops it. “Are you watching this?” She points at the TV. “It’s boring as hell.”

“If you don’t like my choice in movies....then why don’t you get some sleep. It’s late anyway.” I offer as I study her closely for a reaction. And just as I knew she would, she winces at the thought of going to sleep.

She glares at me then returns her attention back to the screen. “I think I can determine my own bedtime, thank you very much!”

I ignore the heat in her tone and turn my attention back to the TV as well. I was serious though. It is late, about 12:43am. But I have to give it to her, the movie we’re watching *is* boring. But I was down here for a reason, I was worried about her.

I don’t know what they did to her. Actually, I don’t want to know because I don’t want to know how thoroughly I fucked up in protecting her. But since the Project her claustrophobia has gotten worse, she’s jumpy as hell, loud noises scare the shit out of her, and she’s terrified of being touched .

Out of the corner of my eye, I watch her rake her fingers over her face and fight back a yawn. She is really tired. Perhaps I will help her out a bit.

“Ororo”

“Hmm?” Her voice sounds irritated.

I toss her the remote. “Change it if you want.”

“Bout time!” She groans as she shifts into a laying position to reach the remote.

She flips through all 300 channels twice before she stops on AMC and on a movie called..

“Imitation of Life.” She informs as she puffs one of the many pillows on the couch and rest her head on it. It is only then do I realize that she hasn’t gotten up from her laying down position. She looks in my direction and spares me a smile. “We’re lucky because it just started.”

I turn off the TV after the movie ends. I’m not so sure how lucky I was. That movie was sad as hell. But on a happier note, in its length Ororo fell asleep. I was tempted to carry her to her room but I didn’t want her to freak out if she caught me touching her. So I decided to stay in my chair and watch her sleep.

This wasn’t the first time I noticed this, but Ororo Munroe was beautiful. Probably the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. Even more beautiful than Jean, though I will never admit that out loud. Well at least never to Jean.

But every guy in the mansion has noticed Ororo’s beauty. I’ve even seen the professor awe struck a couple of times when he noticed her from afar. I bet, in another time and place, she probably would have been worshiped as a goddess or something, if not for her powers but for her beauty alone.

I glance at the digital clock on the VCR, she has only been a sleep for about 20 minutes but I can tell that already, her rest is not peaceful. Her brow is furrowed in distress and her mouth as pulled down into a frown.

I’m not sure if I should wake her, so until I decide, I’m just going to watch her.

“Please....stop” I hear her whimper.

That pitiful plea tears my heart in two and helps me make my decision. I get up to wake her up. When I am standing in front of her, I see a single tear trickle down her cheek. Gently, ever so gently I lean over her and timidly place one hand on her shoulder.

Immediately, she goes from a deep sleep to completely awake and screaming

“Please don’t hurt me!”

At her outburst, I jerk my hand back and stammer out “I...I wasn’t..I would..never” But she doesn’t hear my fumbled words. Instead, she hides her face within her hands, balls herself into a fetal position, with her back towards me, and promises that she would do whatever I wanted, if I just stop hurting her.

“Ororo” I say in a tone that I hope is soothing.

She scrunches into a tighter ball and sobs.

Ok, now I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t told to do this, to find out how she was coping. I just ...Shit what do I do now? I wish the professor were here and not at that World Council Meeting.

Think Scott, it’s not like you never comforted a crying woman before.

I force myself to remember how I comforted Jean after she killed that scientist. Then I came to a decision. I timidly place my hand on her back and try to give her a comforting pat.

Ororo’s back arches away from my touch as if I burned her, and she scrambles away from me and quickly crawls to the far side of the couch. When she turns around to look at me, her eyes are pure white and purely terrified.

“Don’t touch me!” She screams. “Don’t ever touch me again!”

“Okay...I’m sorry....I won’t touch you..” I promise in my most soothing voice as I raise my hands in front of my chest, where she could see them. She doesn’t relax, but I can tell she appreciates the gesture so I keep my hands there. “Ororo... It’s me Scott...I’m not going to hurt you.”

She looks at me for about minute then tilts her head to the side. “Scott?”

“Yes..It’s me Scott” I am tempted to close the distance between us, but I decide not to. I don’t want to frighten her. I see her start to relax but her eye color hasn’t changed. I can only imagine what the weather is like right now.

Then I get my answer.

“What’s wrong?!”

I look up and at the doorway. Hank is running in here. I can see the fear in his eyes that something is wrong with Ro. And it seems that he is not the only one worried about her safety, because right behind him was Peter and Bobby.

Shit! I look back at Ororo and she looks terrified. I’m not sure if she can see us for who we are. But by the petrified way she is carrying herself, I think she thinks that we are the soldiers who hurt her.

“Scott, what’s going on? Is Ororo alright?”

I, as well as everyone else, look at the woman in question. She is crouched down like a cat ready to pounce. I then look back at Hank.

“She’s fine.” My voice is stern, sharp and commanding. Without even thinking about it, I have decided to combat this situation as Cyclops. “I just startled her. But she is fine. You all can go back up stairs *now*.”

Peter and Bobby take heed to my tone and leave, but Hank is reluctant. I know why but right now his good intentions are not needed nor are they welcomed. Instead of backing off, he comes closer.

“Stay away from me!” She shrills at Hank. The thunder outside is so loud it shakes the whole place. This in turn scares our white haired beauty, and makes her cover her ears and scream. Her distress only makes the storm outside worse and the noise is making her more terrified. It was a never ending cycle, and the only one who was getting hurt was Ororo.

“Hank!” I bite out. “Just leave. You’re making this worse for her!” He starts to protest but I interrupt him. “Leave!” The tone I use is so sharp I barely recognize my own voice.

He looks at me like I am crazy. I can tell that he is shocked and angered that I would speak to him in such away, but he leaves. Reluctantly. Tomorrow I will have to apologize but right now, Ororo is my biggest concern.

I know it hurt Hank that he couldn’t help her now, just as he couldn’t help her then. We all feel that failure. But its worse for him. Because even though every guy has been attracted to Ororo at one time or another, it seems that only Hank had captured *her* attention. Well that was before the Project. Now... now things are different and that’s not even taking into account that Hank is now blue and fury.

When I was completely sure that Hank had left, I decide to gain her attention. It was hard, I have to admit because she kept expecting the rest of the guys to burst into the room at any minute, plus her distress over the storm outside.

I can’t imagine the fear she must be feeling right now.

After about ten or so more minutes, I had her focused on me and only me. I am pleased to say that she had visibly relaxed and could see *me* for who I was... right before she fainted.

I’m not going to lie, I was glad that she passed out. I guess it was a combination of pure exhaustion and the uncontrolled used of her powers but whatever the reason, I was glad she passed out. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to do next. I am not exactly a people person and comforting a distraught woman is not my forte. So like I said before, I was glad she passed out.

I wasn’t going to move her, I really wasn’t. My touching her was why she became upset in the first place. But the position she had passed out in was completely awkward and painful looking. So I risked it. I gently picked her up and laid her into a more comfortable position on the couch.

I didn’t expect for her to wrap her arms around me and bury her face in the crook of my neck. I wasn’t prepared for the warm tears I felt spilling onto my skin and down into the collar of my shirt. And I sure as hell wasn’t prepared for her to whimper out my name and sob out that she needed me....to help her...to protect her... to stop them from hurting her....

My heart cried at her words even though my eyes couldn’t. I pulled back a little just so I could see her face. I wanted to apologize for failing her. But much to my surprise, she was sleeping. And by the looks of it, she was trapped in another nightmare.

I wonder how many times she has called for me. And how many times I have failed to show up and keep my promise... to protect her.

“Oh God Ro...I am so sorry” I sob in a whisper.

Her eyes snap open and she stares at me with pure white eyes. My eyes are wide as well and I’m scared that she is going to have another panic attack.

I don’t move.

I don’t breath.

I just wait.

And hope she doesn’t freak out.

“Scott?” Her voice is questioning, broken, and so small.

I feel like apart of me died just from hearing it.

“Yes Ororo...It’s me Scott” I whisper. I can tell she doesn’t really see me, even though my face is only a couple of inches from hers.

“Please....” Her voice breaks into a sob. “Please... don’t let them hurt me anymore.”

I bring one hand up to wipe away her stream of tears then brush back her hair that has been soaked by them. “I won’t let them hurt you anymore...I promise” With everything I am, I promise.

At my declaration, she closes her eyes again and returns to her slumber. She doesn’t let go of me, but I can tell that a sense of peace has come over her.

From my precarious position, of leaning over her, I gently drop to my knees so not to disturb her or the hold she has on me. I didn’t try to break free from it because I figured she needed the comfort. She was the only one who had no support during the Project. They had separated her into her own cell, but it wasn’t a luxury. It was her own personal hell.

I ended up staying with her that night. I kept vigil, on my knees and hovering over her in an uncomfortable position just so she could hold onto me as she slept.

Sure, I was sore and tired as hell in the morning, but it was worth it. Because for the first time in months, Ororo had a peaceful nights sleep.

 

tbc

I’m hanging out in the back entertainment room and watching TV. It’s about 11pm and nothing good is playing on our 300 channels, but that doesn’t bother me. I’m not really here to watch TV anyway. I’m here because I’m waiting for someone.

It’s not long before I hear one of the heavy double doors open and close, but I pretend to take no notice of it..

“Anything good on?

My head snaps to the left. That was not the voice of the person I was expecting to come in here.

“Um...no” I admit sheepishly. I’m taken off guard by his amiable attitude. It’s been about a month since I yelled at him, but for that he has forgiven me. Its his *new* anger towards me that makes me distrustful of his affable disposition.

It is what he walked in on yesterday morning that has him pissed off at me again. Honestly though, what he saw was as innocent as apple pie, but he took our precarious position the wrong way.

Ever since that night when I allowed Ororo to find comfort in holding me, I’ve decided to stay down here and watch late movies. Not because I want to see them, because I don’t. The only reason I am here night after night is because I know *she* would be down here, fighting the urge to sleep.

Ororo’s no dummy though. Let me make that clear. She knew what I was doing all along, but she never told me to get lost.

Ok, that’s not true.

She did tell me to get lost and in a lot of colorful different ways too. However, I knew she didn’t mean it. So despite her protest, I stayed and pretended to be interested in whatever show we were watching as I secretly watched her fall asleep from the recliner chair I usually sat on.

It hurt watching her because night-after-night I had to watch her have nightmare after nightmare. I didn’t dare try to wake her from them or comfort her. I didn’t want a repeat of the first night. So I kept my distance and figured if she wanted me to help her, she would come to me. I just kept close to her because I wanted to make sure that she knew I was there for her. After about a week, she finally came around and allowed me to sit on the couch with her. Two nights later, I was her personal Scott pillow.

Its been like that ever since.

That’s what Hank walked in on yesterday morning.

I was sleeping in a sitting position but Ororo’s head was resting on my lap. It looked bad, yes I know, but she had rested her head there herself, after I feigned sleep.

I swear!

Ro doesn’t realize that I don’t sleep until I know she is sleeping peacefully. However, I have no idea what happened to the pillow that separated her head from my legs from the time I fell asleep to the time when we both were waken up by Hank that morning. All I know is that her arms were wrapped around my waist and her face was snuggled against my crotch. Then to make it look even worse, my hand was resting in her hair in a way that it looked like I was holding her head there.

To tell you the truth, after we both woke up, I wasn’t worried about the irate blue beast that was giving me a look that could kill. No, I was worried about Ororo putting a lightening bolt up my ass.

“So if nothings on...” Hanks begins, pulling me out of my thoughts. “What are you still doing up? It’s late...you should get some rest. The professor says we have early training in the morning.”

I watch Hank take the closest seat to the couch I am sitting on.

I know, just by him being here that he knows why I’m here. He knows that Ororo will be here any minute. So I can handle this situation one of two ways. I can either lie to him or tell him the truth and that I’m down here to be his ex-girlfriends teddy bear.

I decide to lie. It’s really none of his business anyway.

“Thanks for the concern...but I think I will hang out for a while longer.” I watch him fight to control his irritation at my words.

“But you said yourself that there is nothing on...”

“Hank, do you have a problem with me wanting to watch TV?”

“No. I just want to know why you‘re doing it down here?” He shrugs, trying to convince me that his question is innocent. “You never used to watch TV down here before?”

“Things change” I answer as I shrug and reach for the popcorn bowl I put on the table earlier. He doesn’t realize that two can place this game.

“That’s just it.” He prods. “Why now?”

“Because last time I checked this was relatively free country....Even for mutants.” My tone and my sarcasm is sharper than I intended, but it’s too late to fix it now.

He’s taken back, but quickly schools his shock into anger and cuts right to the chase. “What are your intentions with Ororo, Scott?”

I have to admit that *is* a good question. And I’m not sure how to answer it because *I’m* not exactly sure anymore. At first, I did this because I wanted to make amends. I was a leader that failed his teammate. But now...things are just different.

“She’s my friend, Hank.” I answer sternly. “I’m just making sure she’s ok.”

“Friends?” He repeats skeptically.

“Yes.” I answer defensively.

“Riiiight.”

Behind my goggles, I roll my eyes and continue to eat my popcorn. I have to be careful not to eat all of it in my attempt to ignore Hank. My bowl of popcorn is usually Ororo’s excuse to sit next to me, right before she falls asleep.

The room is quite, save the noise coming from the TV, but the tension in here is as thick as mud. I force myself not to look at him, but I wish he would leave. I really do. His presence in here is only going to distress Ro even more.

I know he’s distressing me.

It’s times like this were I wish I could were my uniform 24/7. Petty things like this never bother me when I’m in Cyclops mode.

It isn’t long before we are joined by the person who is the root of my and Hanks polite animosity. We both turn towards her when she enters.

Ororo pauses in her step when she notices Hank in the room. She then looks at me and I can see the unspoken question in her eyes. I give her a barely noticeable shrug of my shoulders, silently telling her that I have no idea why he is in here.

I honestly expect her to turn around and leave, but she surprises me and sits on the couch. Right next to me, to be precise. I try to act like her behavior is completely normal. *Try* is the operative word. Usually she sits on the furthest end of the couch and gradually scoots closer when she is just about to fall asleep.

“Popcorn?” I offer to her just to make some noise. The silence in the room is deafening.

She shakes her head no and keeps her attention on the TV. After about 10 minutes, she asks. “Scott, what *are* you watching?”

“It’s called the Duke’s of Hazard.” I inform as casually as I can, considering this awkward not -exactly-love triangle we are in.

“I don’t care what its called” She snaps playfully. “Change it! The last thing I want to see is a bunch of red necks screaming about pork ribs and fried chicken. ”

Despite this uncomfortable situation, I laugh. This is part of our nightly ritual. We argue about what‘s on the tube. I now realize that Ro wants to play things out like we usually do.... And that I can accommodate.

“Well, considering I was here first AND that I have the remote...” I raise said item and shake it in her face. When she makes a half-hearted grab for it, I quickly tuck it under my butt and laugh. “To the victor goes the spoils, my dear. And the victor wants to watch Duke’s of Hazard!”

She crosses her arms, pokes out her bottom lip and pouts.

“Nope!” I laugh again and shift my gaze away from her. I have to admit that look on her is completely adorable. “That’s not going to work on me *again*, Miss Munroe!”

Through my peripheral I can see a hurt look on Hank’s face as he watches us. I feel bad for what I am doing to him right now. Inwardly, I hope I never have experience what he is going through. I hope that I never have to watch the woman I love flirt with another man because I think it would kill me.

Despite Hank’s anguish, I also understand that Ororo has her own personal reasons to want to keep her distance from him.

Then there are *my* reasons for *wanting* to make sure they stay apart? My feelings for her are becoming so confused. I’m not even sure why I have these types of feeling. What’s more, I don’t even know when my motives started to change but ...they have.

“Anyways” I tease and look at her. “I would think that you would enjoy this show... considering..”

“That I was a car thief?” She asks and turns to look at me.

She’s looking at me dead in my eyes. I don’t know how she can do that without a shred fear. No one else can. Even though they try not to let my mutation scare them, everyone else is afraid that my ray vision might break through my glasses. They try though, I’ll give them that much. But no else, besides Ro, can look me in the eyes completely unafraid. She’ll never know how much I appreciate that.

“W-well...yeah.” I admit sheepishly. Oh God I’m stuttering and to make it worse, I can feel my cheeks heating up with a blush.

I’m not sure if she notices, but she returns her attention to the screen and points at it. “Yeah..well.. maybe I would enjoy it if they didn’t use toy cars during the car chases!”

I turn my attention to the screen and lo and behold, a toy car was jumping the ravine. I sigh and reach under my butt and give her the remote “Ok ,fine you win.”

“Don’t I always?“ Ororo smirks victoriously as she snatches the remote out my hands and changes it to the Oxygen channel. “Oh!... That’s right! I forgot I wanted to see this!”

Just fucking great. Now I’m going to be watching a chick flick and those things are usually long as hell. There really should be a law against an all women’s channel.

That’s when Hank seems to have had enough of our playful banter. But instead of leaving like I want him too, he starts talking.

“Scott, I got an email from Jean today!”

I look at Ro from the corner of my eye to see if she reacts to the mention of Jean. Nope. It didn’t bother her in the least. I’m glad, but a part of me is sorta disappointed that she didn’t give a reaction ,at all. I then give my full attention to Hank.

I know his game and I’m not playing.

“I got one too?” I admit. “She sends one to everyone. That reminds me... ” I look at Ororo. “Jean was wondering why you don’t email her back, Ororo?”

“I don’t know how.” She admits with no shame, while still watching TV. “I’m computer illiterate.”

“Oh” Both Hank and I say at the same time.

I know what his intelligent brain is thinking, but I beat him to the punch.

“If you want...I’ll teach you.”

“Whatever floats your boat, Slim.” She says absently. She is completely focused on the movie. I can tell she is trying to ignore us on purpose.

Hank then literally growls at my good fortune And I mean he growls LOUD.

*That* got her full attention. She looks at him. I have no idea what she is thinking but a look of pure fright graces her features for a couple of seconds.

“Umm...Scott..” she says softly and stands up. I can tell that she wants to get out of here.

I stand up too. I’m not sure what she wants me to do, but whatever it is.... I’ll do it, because I am so pissed by Hank’s behavior that I want to blast him! He *knows* how skittish she is and that she is fighting that fear every second of everyday! What the hell was he thinking growling like that? Like some sort of possessive rabid beast!

Hank stands up too. His hands are out, pleading. He knows that he just fucked up. “Ororo...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...”

She puts her hand up to stop him. “Hank...I’m sorry too....but what we had before...” She shakes her head regretfully and looks at him woefully. “I’m sorry... but we can’t go back. I know how much you want to but....I can‘t give you what you need.”

Before the blue beast could say anything else, she runs out of the room. He tries to follow, but I step in front of him and stop him.

“Scott! Get out of my way! I need to apologize for what I just did!”

“You’ve already apologized” I remind sternly. Again, I am in Cyclops mode and I wasn’t even aware I made the switch. Perhaps I don’t need the uniform after all.

“Scott! ” He pleads. I’ve never heard him sound so desperate before. “I just want to help her.”

“Then back off.” This time my voice is much gentler.

I can only imagine what he is feeling right now. As I look at him, I can remember how happy he was when Ro showed a romantic interest in him. How surprised he was that she chose him over of the rest of us. She was his first girlfriend. She was his beauty to his beast. She was his first love... And it was taken away from him because of that fucking Project. I feel sorry for him...

But my first priority is still Ro.

“Hank...she’s been through a rough time... She just needs her space right now.”

“But not from you!” He growls jealously, then shakes his head regretfully. “I’m sorry...It’s just ...What are your intentions with her?”

Great. Now we’re back to *that* question.

“She’s my friend and I‘m worried about her.”

“Are you sure that’s all she is, Scott?” He asks accusingly. “Because if you’ve forgotten, you already have a girlfriend in Jean.”

My eyes narrow dangerously even though I know he can’t see them. “What are you getting at, Hank?”

“I’m not getting at anything. I’m just saying that I was very surprised when I got my email from Jean today. Because *apparently* she didn’t know anything about your new and *friendly* relationship with Ororo.”

Ok, now I’m really pissed! Just because he lost *his* girlfriend, he’s now trying to destroy *my* relationship! What a bastard! He *knows* how much I love Jean and that I would *never* cheat on her! But before I could even say or do anything, that agile blue bastard slips out of the room and runs off to who knows where.

God, I’m so angry! I swear I am going to blast the hell out of him tomorrow, in training! But right now.... I need to go and call my girlfriend. I need to set the record straight because who knows what that bastard said to her.

What I don’t expect to see, upon arriving at my room, is Ororo. She is sitting on the floor and her back is resting against my door. When she sees me, she gives a sheepish smile.

“Umm... Do you need something, Ororo?”

I really hope she doesn’t. I know this is selfish, but my first priority right now is to call Jean. Hank may have just ruined a relationship that I have put...God how many years? Let’s see.... I met Jean when she was 24...so I was 14.....and I am 20 now. So I put in SIX YEARS! I pinned over that woman for SIX years and Hank may have destroyed everything I worked so hard for, with one jealous email!

I hate him!

I look at Ororo, waiting for her answer with an impatient expectance.

She looks up at me then gets up and shakes her head no. “Forget it...I just thought...”She shook her head again. “Never mind.”

Dammit! For the first time she really is asking for my help and what do I do? I blow her off. I know it had to be hard for her to come to my quarters. It wasn’t like she could lie and say she was passing by. There is no reason for her to be over here because my room is the only room on this wing and floor.

Sometimes I can be such a bastard.

“Ororo!” I call out to her just as she pushes the down elevator button.

“Forget it!” She snaps, not even bothering to spare me a glance.

That’s when my priorities change and I find myself stalking down the hall to catch her before she gets into the elevator. When I reach her, I’m tempted to grab her by the shoulders and make her face me but I don’t . I know better.

“What do you want?”

She’s looking at me in the eyes again. However, the look she is giving me now...I‘d really rather not be on the receiving end of. She’s pissed. Then I think about what she just said.

What do *I* want?

She’s the one who came up here!

*Now* what am I supposed to say?

Ding. The elevator door opens.

Think, THINK Scott! she is about to leave!

“Hank is looking for you.”

Now I don’t know if that is true or not because I don’t know where the blue bastard ran off too. That was just the first thing that popped up in my head. So I blurted it out. But apparently it worked because she pauses in her step and doesn’t get into the elevator.

“Umm...Scott?”

She looks afraid to ask but that doesn’t matter because I already know what she wants...what she needs. So I decide to make it easier for her.

“Ororo, do you want me to...you know...show you how to use the computer?...I mean.. if you don‘t mind...coming into my room?”

She looks up at me and gives me a grateful smile.

I try not to blush, but I fail miserably.

It’s not until after I lead Ro into my bedroom, and after my gaze falls on the sight of my girlfriend’s picture on my computer desk, do I realized the momentous mistake I have just made.

What the hell was I thinking?! I mean...What the hell am I thinking! If anyone finds out about this and tells Jean, she is going to flip! I’m serious. If she finds out about this, any and all chances I may have had to make amends with her are now lost. There is no way she is going believe that Ororo and I are just *friends* now that I’ve brought her into my room!

Jean knows me better than anyone, and she knows that my room is like holy ground to me. I *don’t* let people in here. EVER. This is *my* space. And I covet it. In the orphanage, I had to share a room with a dozen other kids, then after I ran away, I had to live on the streets. I can’t remember anything before my head injury so this is the only room I know that belongs to just me. Its *mine* and I don’t like my space invaded. Even Jean has only been allowed in here three times, and that was when I just moved into the mansion. And I’ve been in love with *her* since the moment I was able to see her!

So for me to allow Ro in here.

Oh shit! I just fucked up my relationship big time.

I watch Ororo slowly walk around my space. As she assesses my belongings, she lightly drags her fingers over my dresser, my stereo, my TV and lastly my computer.

“So are you going to show me how to use this thing, or was this impromptu computer class just a ploy to get me in your room?”

I‘m shocked by her words. “I..I .wouldn’t...”

“I know, Scott” She assures. “Relax.. I was just joking. If I really thought you were up to something I wouldn‘t have come.”

I watch her sit in my computer chair *like she owns it* and that’s when I realize that I was still standing by the door. I force myself to walk over to her and stand behind her.

“Press that button there.”

She looks up at me then back at my computer. “Here?”

“Uh.. no that one..“ I point to the button in question. “The one with that circle thing on it.”

Once the computer is on, I try to explain everything, but my nervousness is making me stutter like an idiot. I am embarrassed by my ineptitude, but Ro acts like she doesn’t notice. For that I am grateful.

Not many people know this about me, but I, Scott Summers, not my alter personality Cyclops, have a real bad case of introversion. That is the main reason I keep myself separate from my team. I’m just not a people person, and I don’t know how to be. My life has not allowed me to adequately acquire this skill. Most of my life, well most of what I remember at least, I just stayed quite and did what I was told. No matter how vile the task because the people I knew while growing up either used me, abused me, or both.

It wasn’t until Xavier found me and rescued me from the streets, did someone treat me like I was a human and not some freak that was lower than a dog. The professor was the first person I can remember ever being nice to me. Jean was the second.

I think.... that is why I am so devoted to the both of them.

I leave my thoughts and lean over Ro. I have to type in my password to log onto the internet but as I do this, I notice that her hair smells like strawberries and cream. I find myself really liking the scent and without even knowing I am doing it, I lean a little closer to have a better whiff of it.

“Scott, if you want the seat..” She pushes me back and stands up “Here take it! You don’t have get so close.”

I am now beet red with disparaging embarrassment, but methodically, I take the seat without looking at her. I’m too ashamed by what I did to look at her. She then takes the spot behind.

“You have mail!” My machine sings out.

“Can you check my mail first?” She asks hopefully.

I freeze at her request because it is impossible to fulfill. “Umm..Ororo.”

“Hmm?”

“I can’t check your mail...”

“Oh...why not? I mean.. that’s why I am in here right?”

“Well yeah....” I force myself not to stutter as I mentally plead for the floor to just swallow me up. “It’s just that..... I can’t check your mail because you don’t have an account yet.”

“Oh.” She tilts her head to the side and gives me a confused expression. “But... you said that Jean has been emailing me...”

“I lied.” I admit in an ashamed whisper.

“You...”

“Lied. Yes...I’m sorry.” I pinch my eyes shut, and childishly and mentally make myself invisible. I am regressing to the escapism tactic I used in my horrible childhood. I know she must be angry with me. She probably thinks that this *was* a ploy just to get her into my room.

For about the longest two minutes of my life, the only thing that could be heard was the bong of the occasional pop up screen. I really am expecting her to storm out of here and never talk to me again.

But she doesn’t.

“Why?”

I bite my bottom lip and think about how to answer her question. I still don’t look at her though, I am to embarrassed. After another tense minute, I finally answer. Timidly and barely above a whisper.

“Because...”

Where is my Cyclops mode when I need it?

“That’s not an answer, Scott!”

Now she sounds upset, so I muster up my courage and look up at her and answer truthfully and fully. “Because Hank was trying to hurt you by mentioning Jean!”

“Oh...” I could tell she was surprised then confused by my confession “Why would Hank think that I would care if Jean emailed you? I’d be more worried if she didn’t.”

I return my gaze to the computer and reluctantly admit. “He thinks there is something going on between us.”

“Something going on...? ... Oh..” She sighs regretfully and turns to look at the door. “I guess I better speak to him...and set things straight.”

I turn back to face her and quickly nod in agreement, but after a few seconds, I notice that she hasn’t moved from the spot she’s standing in. She looks scared at the prospect of talking to her ex and that didn’t bode well with me.

“Ororo... may I...ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything you want.” She says as she spars me a glance. “Doesn’t mean I’ll answer the question though.”

God she is a tough nut to crack. Throughout this past month, I can honest say that she and I became closer friends. But how close, I have no idea because we never talk. I mean we never *really* talk. It’s almost like we have an unspoken understanding that she doesn’t want to talk about what‘s bothering her. So we don’t talk about it, not about her past, not about her dreams and definitely not what happened to her during the Project. She has even forbade the Professor from sneaking into her thoughts to find out what happened. She wants her experience to be her secret. And *only* her secret.

However, that sort of self reliance is true to Ororo’s nature. Just like my self reliance is true to mine. It’s all we know, because it’s the only way one can survive while living on the streets. Because like myself, the lovely Miss Munroe was a street rat.

But she never talks about that life, unless she is bragging about some crime she pulled off without a hitch. Actually, Ororo never talks about anything, less it be superficial. Conversations about fast cars, clothes, magazines and the importants of including Mountain Dew into your daily diet is pretty much all you can get out of Miss Munroe. It drives Jean crazy. She thinks that Ro is the shallowest person she has ever met in her entire life.

But I know better.

Mine and Ororo’s life are too similar for me not to know better.

Ro doesn't know that I’m a street rat like herself, but that past life, that we both share, is probably why she feels so comfortable around me. It’s our familiarity that she’s not even aware of.

“What’s your question, Scott? I don’t have all night.” She sighs out in irritation as she walks over to my bed to sit down. Once she’s seated she changes her mind and sits on the floor.

She hasn’t said it out loud but by her sitting on the floor, she is making sure I don’t get any unwelcome ideas in my head. So taking her recent actions into account, plus what she said to Hank earlier, my questioned is answered , but I ask anyway just to make sure.

“What happened between you two?”

“People change, Scott...” She shrugs and grabs the TV remote off of my TV stand. “We just weren’t meant to be.”

“But I thought you two were happy before...” I stop myself immediately and try to correct my mistake. “Is it because he’s blue now?”

“No, its not because he *blue*I don‘t give a fuck that he‘s blue!”

I’ve upset her, and she turns the television on and turns the volume loud. It’s her way of telling me that this conversation is over.

Unfortunately, for her I’m not finished with my questions yet. “Ororo...has Hank hurt you?”

Her gaze snaps to my direction and she is furious. “What the hell kind of question is that?! Of course he hasn’t! Hanks is probably the nicest guy I have ever met in my entire life! He’d cut his own hand off before he hurt me with it! How could you--”

I interrupt. “Alright! I believe you.”

“I don’t care if you believe me! Why would you even ask me that?”

“It was an honest question, Ororo.” My tone is strong , commanding and unremorseful. Very Cyclopish. I’m starting to think that maybe confrontation brings out this side in me. “And I asked because you act like you’re afraid of him every time he’s around!”

“I‘m not afraid of him!” She snaps.

“Then tell my why it *looks* like you are afraid of him.”

She hmphs and returns her gaze to the TV. For about 10 minutes, she doesn’t answer me. I being to think that she’s not going to answer my question, so I do the only thing I can do.

No, it’s not to kick her out of my room, my sacred space.

Instead, I decide to return my gaze to the happenings on my computer and ignore her.

And just when I’ve completely given up on getting an answer from her that‘s when she decides to speak.

“He just won’t let go....I must have explained it to him a million different ways but...He just won’t let go.”

I keep my gaze on the monitor to give* her* space. I have a feeling that she will stop talking if I look at her. “Is he pressuring you?” Through my peripheral I see her shake her head no. For now that’s all I need to know, so I let the subject drop.

While she watches TV, I click on my mail. I have six emails from Jean. Oh fuck. Usually, I only get one a day because she is so busy. She went back to medical school to specialize in another type of medicine.

As I gaze at my inbox, I’m not even sure I want to read the messages therein. But I do anyway. I need to know what I’m in for before I call her.

The first three only state that she and I ‘need to talk.’ The next one is more angry. It asks me ‘where the hell am I?’ Then the next one accuses me of being with Ororo. And the last one, which must have *just* been sent states that ‘If I don’t respond tonight, it’s over between us.’

Fuck!

I quickly cut off the computer and make a dash for my phone. I zip through my caller ID and I see Jean’s number about 12 times.

FUCK!!!!!

Ororo looks at me and quizzically arches a brow. “Something wrong, Slim?”

“Yeah!” I admit dejectedly. “Hank told Jean about how he found us... I think she’s going to break up with me.”

“Oh...I’m so sorry.. Do you want me to leave?”

“I’m sorry but..”

She quickly gets up and puts her hands in front of her chest. “Not a problem.”

With the phone in my hand, I watch her walk over to the door. After she opens it, she quickly slams it shut and turns to face me.

“Hank’s out there!”

“Shit! Are you sure?” I ask as I quickly pad over to the door.

My life has just gone from bad to worse.

“He’s pretty hard to mistake as someone else, Scott!” She says as she steps away from the door and stands behind me.

I peak my head out of the door hoping above all hope that maybe she is mistaken, only to have my hopes crushed. There’s Hank, sniffing around in the loby. Quickly and quietly, I close the door before he sees me and I turn to face her. “Why is he up here?”

Before she can answer my question, there is a knock at my door.

“Hide!” I whisper frenetically as my head zips side to side to search for a place to stash her.

Quickly, Ororo runs into the middle of my room spins in a frantic circle then decides to hide under my bed .

As soon as she slides under there, I realize that’s not going to work. My bed skirt is too short to hide her. Not that you can see my bed from the door but still, I didn’t want to take any chances.

There are another series of knocks at my door. This time they are impatient.

“In my bathroom!” I whisper loudly. “Hide in my bathroom!”

She quickly scoots out from under my bed and crawls into my bathroom. If it wasn’t so important that she is *not* found in my room, I probably would be laughing right now. I feel like we are a couple of kids who are about to be caught with their hands in a cookie jar before dinner.

Before I open the door, I can’t help but see the irony in the fact that for years I’ve lived in this room and no one came to visit me. Now, on the day when I *need* my privacy it seems like this is the hot spot for the whole mansion.

It’s only after I hear the bathroom door close do I crack the door open. “Yes?” I answer with mock tiredness. I’ll do anything to get rid of him quicker.

“Um.. yes, Scott....”

“Yes?”

“Have you seen Ororo?”

“No.” I lie and cross my arms.

“You haven’t?” He looks shocked and almost confused. “Are sure?... I could have sworn I smelled her scent up here?” He takes a deeper sniff then looks at me, then past me, into my room ,then at me again and asks skeptically. “Are you sure you don’t know where she is?”

My eyes widen in distress, but other than that I make no other outward reaction. I forgot that with Hanks new appearance, he also got a whole new set of abilities. He now has the nose of a blood hound, and with that in mind, I realize that need to close my door and quickly!

“Hank” My voice is stern. “Have you ever thought that maybe Ororo doesn’t want you to find her?”

“I really don’t see how this is any of your business.”

I silently interrupt him by forking my brow angrily and allowing my lips form my trademark frown.

“Look, Scott... all I want to do is apologize” His voice is louder now. Not in anger, but loud like someone trying to make sure a person hiding in a bathroom could here them.

“Apologize for what?” I bite out. “For stalking her?” He looks affronted but I continue anyway. “Hank, she doesn’t want to date you anymore and nothing you say or *do* is going to make her change her mind. So you need to back off because the only thing you are accomplishing now is freaking her out!”

I know I shouldn’t be saying this to him, because he’s right. Their problems have nothing to do with me. But right now, I don’t care. I’m pissed at him because there is a good chance that he destroyed my relationship with Jean.

Hank now looks about as pissed as I feel, but he speaks to me with a false calm voice. “If you see Ororo...Just tell her I’m looking for her.”

“ I will. And thanks for the warning.” And with that I slam my door shut.

When I turn around, I’m confronted with a very shocked Ororo. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to, because its written all over her face.

Suddenly, I am very ashamed for what I just did to Hank.

“I ... guess I should be going.” Her voice is timid as if she expects me to lash out at her too.

I glance at the clock on my stereo, it’s a little past 12am. “Ummm... Can’t you wait a bit longer...”

“Why?”

“He still might be out there.”

She is reluctant, but she agrees. Ten uncomfortably quiet minutes later, I walk over to the door and peak out .

“Dammit!”

“What?” she asks from the computer chair.

“He’s still out there!” I quickly shut the door just as she stands up in alarm.

“What?! Where?”

“In the lobby, down the hall!” I point in the general direction.

She looks upset, but she asks anyway. “Do you still want me to leave?”

I think about her question then shake my head. “No.”

“Why?”

It happens before I can even stop myself, but I look at her as if she had just asked me the dumbest question in the world. “Because then he’ll know you’re in here!”

“So! It’s not like we are doing anything wrong!”

I shake my head. She doesn’t understand that her just being in my room *is* a big deal.

“Look Scott, apparently... he already knows I‘m in here. So who cares if he sees me leaving.” She starts walking toward the door and stops in front of me. “It’s late Scott... If you want, I will set him straight right now, because as I stands, I am too tired to be playing these childish games.”

I stare into her blue eyes and try to ignore the fact that they are bruised by the lack of sleep. I can tell that she is serious this time. I also know that I should really she let her go and let her resolve this issue now that she has the courage to. But I can’t “Ororo please... my relationship is riding on this.”

She looks up and growls at the ceiling. “Fine!” I then watch her turn around and stomp toward my bed. “But I’m not going to stay up and wait for him to leave. I’m going to sleep!”

“Sure sure go ahead.” I don’t care if she sleeps in my room because I already knew that would happen the moment I invited her in. I follow her to the bed but when I get there, I grab the phone. I know its late but I need to call Jean. “Umm... I’m...going to go talk in the bathroom okay. So if you hear anything while your sleeping...it’s just me.”

She tiredly sighs out “ Whatever” as she lies on her stomach and buries her head in my pillow.

In the privacy of my bathroom, I call my girlfriend to assure her that I am not cheating on her with the girl who is now sleeping in my bed.

Immediately after Jean picks up, I can tell she’s pissed. And for the first ten minutes, she tells me so. Actually, throughout our 48 minute conversation, she barely lets me have a word in edge wise. However, I *was* able to convince her that Ororo and I weren’t involved. Unfortunately for me, she ended our relationship anyway.

I can’t say I was completely shocked. I knew this day was going to happen sooner or later because I could tell. A big hint that our relationship wasn’t going to work was when her phone calls became more and more infrequent. Then she told me that because she was so busy, it would be better if we just communicated by email. She did take the time to send one everyday, two if she was having a good day, but they were so short! And they were never about the stuff love was made of, like mine were to her. She just shared trivial info about her day. So yes, I saw the signs, I just chose to ignore them.

I loved her. I wanted to believe that we would always be together.

So even though I knew this day would come, it still hurt like hell when she actually said the words.

I cried. Shamelessly, I cried on phone. I even begged her to give us one more chance, but she refused. She told me that I wasn’t really in love with her. When I didn’t agree, she told me that I was too young to know what I was feeling and that my feelings for her were only infatuation because she was the first woman I could remember being nice to me. She assured me that she loved me and would always love me, but told me that we just weren’t meant for each other. Then to convince me to the reasons why we would never work, she brought up our age difference and told me that we were at two different stages in our life. She said that she was thirty and ready to settle down, where I was only twenty and just finding out what life was about. She assured me that it wasn’t my fault, and that I was a great guy and that any girl would be proud to have me but that she was not my “Ms. Right”. She also told me a bunch of other “Dear John” shit but it was lost to me because I couldn’t hear her over my sobs.

So basically, Jean knew that she did not want a romantic relationship with me for a while now. Its just that this Ororo thing gave her the excuse she needed to terminate it.

Our conversation ended a little past 1am, but its not until a little past 3am do I return to the room. It’s completely dark save the moonlight from the open window. I look at Ororo sleeping peacefully on my bed. She looks like an angel, but I am too sad to really appreciate her beauty right now. However, I do notice that she has on the shirt I wore yesterday over her own shirt.

At that I can’t help but puff my chest a bit and smile. It feels good to know that she finds comfort in me. In *me* Scott Summers. Not Cyclops the fearless leader. But Scott Summers the shy introvert.

Just knowing that takes away some of the hurt I feel by Jean dumping me.

When I start to settle myself on the floor I hear the familiar creek of my bed springs. I look up and I see that Ororo is now awake and staring at me. I can tell she is not frightened because her eyes are not pure white, but she is staring at me with and unreadable expression. Then to my surprise, she takes off my shirt, tosses it on the floor and holds her hand out to me.

It’s and unspoken invitation. Not an invitation for *me* to comfort *her*, but for *her* to comfort *me*.

I accept and crawl into bed with her. After she rests her head on my chest, I gently wrap one arm around her slender waist and caress her hair, to lull her back to sleep. But it’s not until she is sleeping deeply and peacefully do I begin to think that....maybe Jean was right.

Because holding Ororo like this feels right. Perfect, in a way that nothing else can compare.

tbc

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scott?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you seen my last months Cosmo?”

“Yes. Yes I have.” I answer without looking up from the work I am doing at my desk.

“You have? She asks brightly. “When?”

“Last month.”

And with that, I get a pillow thrown at the back of my head. I fight back a chuckle as I turn around and give her a mock glare. She can’t see my eyes but somehow she has the uncanny ability to know exactly what expressions my eyes are doing.

“Don’t you give me that look. You deserved that! ” She snaps playfully right before she flops on the bed and starts pouting. I quickly turn back around and return to what I was doing before I cave in and tell her where her magazine is. She knows that pitiful look is my ultimate weakness.

“Scooootttt!” Ororo whines after she realizes that her tactics aren‘t working. . “I know you know where it is. You know were everything is in here!”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But it’s your own fault you can‘t find it.” I chastise in an uncompassionate tone. “I told you to clean up your side of the room for over a week now.”

It’s so weird how right that feels when I say that ‘Your side of the room’. If anyone would have told me that that I would be sharing my room with *anyone* 6 months ago, I would have told them that they were crazy. But here I am, exactly six months since Jean dumped me and I am still sharing my bed with Ororo.

Don’t get me wrong, we are not lovers nor are we dating, but I can say she is the best friend I ever had. And I know for a fact she feels the same about me.

“Scott, you get on my NERVES!!”

Okay...she feels the same but expresses it differently

Ororo continues angrily. “I know you know where my zine is, so just tell me were it is!”

She’s right I do know were it is, and she would have found it right away if I hadn’t have moved it. Ororo’s side of the room may be messy as hell but she has an order to her chaos, known only to her and her alone.

Now you’re probably wondering why I just don’t tell her where it is.

Well, I can’t.

Why, you ask?

Because....

Because it had some sort of inane compatibility test that peaked my interest. I would have put it back where I found it after I was finished, but Ororo came into the room while I was in the middle of taking the stupid test!!!. So until she leaves to do something, I have to keep it hidden.

I’m just glad that she threw *her* pillow and not mine because I stupidly hid it that stupid magazine inside my pillow case.

So as she searches and re-searches through her stuff, I do my best to ignore her and continue working on my strategic plan for our rescue of a mutant in a weeks time. It’s a big mission and I want to make extra sure that it goes without a hitch. This is also going to be Ro’s first real mission since Project-X. I’m not sure if she’s ready but...we have no choice, we need her talents if we are going to pull this rescue off successfully.

I glance back at her just in time to see her sifting through our rumpled bed sheets.

Fuck.

“I know it has to be in here somewhere!” She huffs as she comes up empty handed. Frustrated, she then gets up and walks into the bathroom, hoping that maybe it was taken in there as some..ahem.. reading material.

I have to admit that the bathroom situation is the most awkward part of rooming with someone. Before we officially became roommates, I used to make myself sick holding it in. Now, it still makes me embarrassed but who cares, its natural. I do it, she does it and we both light a match after we’re done. It’s no longer a big deal.

Whiles she’s in the bathroom, I walk over to the bed, turn on the TV and rest the back of my head on my pillow.

I am trying to act as causal as possible because Ro is no dummy.

When she walks back into the room, empty handed ,she quirks a brow as she looks at me. But I pretend not to notice.

“Finished working already?”

“Yeah” I answer absently, my feigned focus is on the show that’s on the tele. “I’m tired ,so I figured that I needed a break.”

“Hmm..riiiight.”

She doesn’t believe me, I can tell. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch her sit on her side of the bed and pulls her hair into a ponytail. It’s longer than it was 6 months ago, but shorter than it was when she joined the X-men.

After the Project and in a fit of rage, she had hacked off all her extremely long hair, except for the bangs. Those she left alone and separated them into two long locks that framed her face and reached her knees.

I’ll admit, I did look good on her, but I never mentioned that I liked it because I knew she wasn’t trying to make a fashion statement.

I’m just glad she’s letting her hair grow back. I am also glad that her hair grows back really fast. It’s almost at the middle of her back already.

When I flip to the Movie Channel, she immediately forgets about the magazine. Much to my relief. Fate has allowed me to flip to a channel that was playing Romeo and Juliet. The one with Leonardo DiCaprio in it. She absolutely loves that movie. I bet she has seen it about 50 times. So as she sits cross-legged on the bed, I lay beside her and watch her watch the TV.

The way we are now is so comfortably domestic that can’t imagine ever going back to the way it was before she moved in.

“What’s so funny?”

“What?”

“You were laughing, Scott. What’s so funny? I could use a good laugh right now.”

“Oh...” I shake my head “I wasn’t thinking about a joke or anything...But if you want I will tell you one.”

“No thanks” She says waving me off and returning her attention to the TV. “You’re jokes are too complicated.”

“Well excuuuuuussse me.” I laugh and return to my thoughts.

I was thinking about how she and I came to room together.

It started the night after Jean dumped me. Though I knew that as long as she was having terrible nightmares, we would probably be sleeping close to one another, if not together. However, I didn’t expect for Ororo to return to my room that next night.

Especially since that training session we had that morning ,with what was left of the complete X-men team, was a complete bust!

Hank was still waiting for her in the lobby that morning. He was *furious* with her and with me because she stayed the night in my room. Ororo was furious that he waited like some kind of jealous ex boyfriend. However, neither one of them spoke to each other.

That’s not entirely true.

The two ex’s didn’t talk until we were all in the danger room with Peter and Bobby. And that was when their suppressed feeling *exploded.*

Hank purposely left me without back up and I was almost killed!

It was during that training session did I realize the Ororo Munroe was my biggest advocated.

I don’t know what the future holds but I know that she will always be by my side and *on* my side. And I wasn’t the only one who found that out that day.

Everyone did.

However, I should have know this a long time ago. Ro was the only one who thought it was cool that I stole the blackbird when I ran away to join Magneto. When I came back, she told me privately that she understood why I left and that she didn’t blame me for making sure that I was fighting on the right side.

At the time, I didn’t appreciate her words. I accepted it, but I didn’t appreciate it because I wanted for someone else to say them to me. I wanted Jean to be the voice of understanding. But she wasn’t. Jean forgave me for what I did, but she didn’t understand why I felt I had to do it. To this day, I don’t think Jean understands why I felt the need to join Magneto.

For a telepath, she’s not very empathic.

I don’t think I would have ever realized how much Jean doesn’t understand me if she didn’t dump me. I *thought* she knew me better than anyone, but I was wrong. She knows more of my past, save professor Xavier, than anyone else does, but she doesn’t *know* me. She doesn’t *understand* me.

Ororo does.

That’s why I’m glad that we have each other because I understand her too.

It’s almost like fate brought us together.

It happened so smoothly that I really didn’t notice it. As meticulous as I am, I didn’t notice that little by little Ororo was moving her stuff into my room every time she stayed the night. The toothbrush, hairbrush, shampoo and conditioner, makeup, body soap and other ‘woman stuff,’ all that I understood. The CDs and DVDs I appreciated; she has good taste. It’s the *big* things that should have been a given and warned me that all was not the same in ‘Scott Land’

Like when she rearranged the room to make space for the other million little things she brought in here. Or when my room became separated into her side and mine.

But nope, I didn’t notice any of *this* stuff.

I guess it’s because I was enjoying her company so much.

So it wasn’t until I found my self reorganizing my closet so that I could get my clothes out did I finally realize that ...hey I have roommate.

You see, I only have about 6 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of shorts and at the most, 13 shirts. Ororo, on the other hand, has more clothes than the Queen of Sheba. Her stuff had pushed mine into the furthest and darkest reaches of the closet. It took me a good thirty minute to *find* my stuff, and after I found it, I realized that I couldn’t *reach* it. So it was on that day, while I was trying to make space in *my* closet for *my* stuff did I decide to officially ask her to move in with me.

I have to admit, that the realization was strangely satisfying.

You want to know another strangely satisfying fact?

It’s that even though Ro has more clothes than everyone else in the mansion, put together, she is always wearing my stuff. Like now, she is wearing my flannel pajama top while I wear the coordinating bottoms.

I glance at our reflection in the full length mirror, she had me nail to the wall, and I can’t help notice how right we look. So comfortably domestic.

“Take a picture Scott, it last longer.”

How does she always know where my eyes are looking?! It’s so embarrassing to be caught staring! I try to play off my discomfort by sitting up a bit, turning toward my nightstand and delving in my drawer. When I pull out my camera, I turn back to her and say.

“Maybe I will.”

“You better not!” She warns as she points a finger.

I snap a picture despite her protest and soon after she attacks me and tries to grab the camera. It’s not in anger; It’s a play fight. And believe it or not, we do this often.

Many will not believe this, but Ororo and I are very tactile people. We both like to touch and be touched. In public, however, we seem very standoffish, cold and anal even. Its just a way we learned how to survive. You can’t be needy when living on the streets. And when you are a young as she was when she became a street rat or blind like myself, usually the touch you received on the street was unwanted. Believe us, we know. Then combine that with my inept people skills and introversion and Ororo’s emotions being broadcasted in the weather.

She really hates that about her power. Don‘t get me wrong, she thinks its cool that she has the power to control the elements at the tips of her fingertips, but she hates that the weather is empathic to her feelings. If she is angry, sad, happy scared, nervous, it affects the weather. Every mood swing she has affects the weather around the mansion. I can’t even imagine how violated she must feel because that. Makes me grateful that the only vice to my mutation is that I have to wear glasses or goggles.

So until she learns to control it, she keeps an arms reach distance from everyone, but me.

And this is not even taking ingto account what she lived through during Project X. I still don’t know why she trusts me more than anyone else. I’m just grateful that she does.

“Give it to me!” She laughs as she makes a half hearted grab for the camera.

I’m still laying on my back but I’ve manage to successful keep said item away from her and snap another picture of her while I’m at it. Its only after she straddles my stomach does she manage to get the camera from me. While she is laughing victoriously, she snaps a picture or two of me.

I on the other hand, am really trying to control my now raging hormones. I am trying to ignore the fact that I can feel of her bare leg on either side of my waist. I am also trying to ignore the fact that even though her most private region is covered by dainty white silk panties, I can still feel the delicious warmth of her body sitting on my bare stomach.

I may have an awesome self control, but I’m no eunuch. I am a red blooded heterosexual male and it is times like this that makes sharing a bed with the most gorgeous and compatible person I have ever met *hard.* I’m just glad that she is sitting on my stomach and not over my waist. Because if she was sitting a little bit lower...I shudder to think of what would happen. I would probably die of embarrassment.

“Well well well...What dooooo we have here?”

The look she is giving me...it looks pissed and makes my body tense with fear. I’m not sure if she has noticed how much my body appreciates her weight on top of me. I know for a fact that it would make her really uncomfortable if she did.

“Umm...?” I squeak out when she leans forward. But much to my surprise, relief *and* distress, It’s not my rouge appendage that has caught her attention. It’s the magazine she was looking for. Somehow, it slipped out of my pillowcase when we were wrestling.

“I knew you had it!” She seethes as she snatches it from behind my head. “Why were you keeping it from me?!”

Her eyes were white now and a violent breezed rustles the window.

“I..I wasn’t..”

“Scott, its right here and I got it out of *your* pillow! I sure as hell didn’t put it there, so it had to be you!” She rolls the zine and smacks me in the chest with it. “What were you doing? Trying to teach me a lesson so I would clean my side of the room?” Angrily, she hits me again.

“Ow!” I grab her wrists so she can’t hit me again. “Ro, I didn’t hide it...Don‘t give me that look! I didn‘t!”

“Scott! It was in *your* pillowcase!”

“Okay...” I admit sheepishly. “Maybe I did hide it, but it’s not because I was trying to teach you a lesson...”

“Why then?”

Before I get to answer, there is a knock at the door.

It’s a welcomed distraction. The last thing I want to do right now is admit that I was taking that love test. Especially since I went out of my way to complain how stupid I thought it was last month.

I look up at Ororo expectantly. “Are you gonna get it?”

She looks toward the door just as the person knocks again.

“*I’d* get it...” I offer, in my best innocent voice. “but I can’t get up until *someone* gets off of my stomach.” I laugh when she lets out a frustrated growl and glowers at me.

Ororo then gets up and stalks toward the door. “Don’t think I’m letting you off the hook, Slim!”

“Of course not...That would be too easy. ” When she is gone I happily notice that she has left the Cosmo. So when she turns into our little hall, I stealthily take out the sheet of notebook paper I was using to record my compatibility data.

“Scott.”

I literally almost jumped out of my skin at the sound of Ro’s voice and quickly hide the piece of paper in the only place I could think of.

I hide it in my pillowcase.

Stupid? Yes, I know.

“Umm yes, Ororo?” I call from the bed. When I turn from what I’m doing and look over in her general direction, my heart stops because I see her. She’s standing in our short hallway that leads from the inner portion of our room to the door. But she’s not staring at me, she’s staring at my pillow with a quirked brow.

Shit.

I’m caught in the act.

“The door.” She answers and point towards it with her thumb. Unfortunately for me, her blues eyes are still trained on my pillow.

Now I’m torn. If I leave now she will find my test results, but if I stay... she will probably find my test results anyway. But she would have to wrestle me for them. I don’t mind another wrestling session, I really don’t, but that part of our relationship is private and unfortunately, there is someone at the door.

So I decide to resign to my fate and get up an go answer the door.

I should have realized, by her tone, that whoever was at the door was someone she didn’t want to see, but I didn’t. I was too worried about her finding out my secret.

That’s why I was really surprised when I saw

“Jean!?!”

“Hello, Scott.” She says as she gives me a forced smile. “Surprised to see me?”

“Yeah” I admit and nod dumbly. “I didn’t know you were coming back!”

“I told you I would.” Jean reminds warmly. “I would never give up on our dream, Scott.”

I smile and nod brightly. I’m sure I look happy to see her, but inside, I feel like Jean’s presence here is suffocating me. I don’t know what to say or do. And for some reason, I feel like I am betraying Ororo just by talking to her.

After a few uncomfortably quiet minutes, she speaks

“So I see... I was right.”

I‘m pulled out of my thoughts and stare at her dumbly. “Hmm?”

Jean points to me then flicks her wrist to point into the room. “I guess you’ve found your Misses Right after all....” She looks passed me and into the room. Her eyes narrow only slightly. “It didn‘t take you long considering that just a few months ago you were professing your undying love to me.”

I’m not positive but I’m pretty sure I’m hearing a bit of anger in Jean’s voice. “Who?Ororo?” I ask dumbly and turn around to see the woman in question. Of course, I couldn’t see her, or my bed, from where we were standing, but the junk laying all around Ororo’s side of the room is clearly visible. Her side is so different from mine, which is immaculately clean.

I return my attention to Jean and assure. “We’re just friends”

“Right.”

She then looks at my bare chest and pajama bottoms then skeptically back at my face. And that’s when I remember that Ororo was *only* wearing the coordinating top.

Yeah, I guess considering the circumstances... I can see how she can get the wrong idea about my and Ororo‘s relationship.

I was going to try to convince Jean that my relationship with Ro was only platonic but she interrupts

“It doesn’t matter, Scott. It’s not like we are still involved... It’s just that....I wish you would have told me.” She looks away from me. A melancholy expression falls over her features. “It’s...it’s just kind of a shock.”

“Jean..” I feel bad. I didn’t tell her because...I just didn’t. She used Ororo as an excuse to break up with me. So I never brought up Ro living with me because I didn’t want to hear her tell me ‘I told you so.’

Not that Ro and I are going out, but considering our close relationship, Jean would probably figure it was inevitable.

“It’s okay.” She says as she faces me again. She gives me another fake smile. “I just came up here to talk but I guess...you two are busy...”

She lets those words trail off, I guess in hopes for me to interrupt and say I wasn’t busy, but I don’t say the words. They are on the tip of my tongue, but the words just don’t come out. I’m not exactly sure why not though. Before Jean left, I would have willing leaped off a bridge if I knew that she would be at the bottom and willing to give me some of her time. But now... I just don’t feel comfortable around Jean right now.

I guess this is that awkward feeling you get when you run into your ex unexpectedly

Ugh. It feels terrible! I now wish I was more sympathetic to Hank.

I guess she picked up on my discomfort because she starts backing away from my door.

“Well... I guess I will see you two tomorrow then?”

I nod slowly at her words. “Yeah...we’ll see you tomorrow...At breakfast. It’s Peter‘s turn to cook ,so it should be something good.”

A pained look graces her face at my words, but she nods and agrees.

I don’t know why I included Ro in my statement. I understand why she did it. She was trying to make a point that Ro and I are a couple despite my protest. But why did I do it? I don’t know.

I close the door once I see her reach the elevator at the end of the long corridor. Once I’ve walked down our short hall to get into our room, I stare are Ororo. She is sitting cross- legged, and crossed arms and waiting for me.

“Sooooo... what did *Marvel Girl* want?”

I roll my eyes at the sarcastic use of Jean’s code name. It’s no secret between us that Ororo doesn’t like my ex. It’s not that the doctor offended her personally. It’s just that my bedmate hates they way Jean used her as an excuse to break my heart. She also hates the fact that Jean broke my heart.

Ro hates to see me hurt.

Once I crawl back into bed, I lay on my back I say. “Oh, she just wanted to talk.”

“Talk hmm? So what stopped her?” Ororo asks as she returns to her previous position, which is sitting on my stomach.

We are picking up where we left off. It’s a rule of ours. Much to my pleasure.

“*You* stopped her.” Inform matter-a-factly.

“Me?” Ro asks mischievously. “Whadda I do?”

I give her a playful grin as I look up at her and grab her wrist, like I had them before we were interrupted.

“I guess not everyone is taken in by your charm and wit, Miss Munroe.”

She tilts her head to the side and ponders on what I just said. “No..I suppose not” She laughs. “Was she upset?”

I shrug.

And Ororo laughs even harder. “I knew it! If you play this right....You just wait, Jean will be begging you back in no time!”

Before I can stop myself, I blurt out with total seriousness. “Who said I want her back?”

Ro stops laughing and looks me dead in my eyes. “But...you love her...”

I shrug. “I don’t know.. Maybe Jean was right” I say still looking into beautiful blue eyes. “I was only fourteen when I met her and...until you moved in, she was the only female in the mansion. Maybe I just got my feelings confused with love like she said I did.”

“Oh...” She looks away from me and down at the zine in her hand. “Is that why you were taking that love compatibly test?”

I immediately let her wrist go, grab my pillow and pull it over my face. I don’t know why I am so embarrassed but I am. And right now, all I want is for the bed to swallow me up. It isn’t long before I felt a laughing Ororo lean forward and start tugging on the pillow.

When I hold onto the pillow with a tighter grip she laughs even harder. “Scott, Let go!” She admonishes playfully. “You’re going to suffocate yourself!”

I let yell out a muffled “So What!”

I feel like I am dieing of embarrassment anyway.

At that she almost chokes herself on her laughter. “You are so retarded! So what, if I found out that you took a love test! The worlds not going to stop spinning because of it!”

I take the pillow off of my face and glare at her, which only makes her laugh harder. Insulted by her total lack of sensitivity, I gently push her off of me and turn on my side, with my back facing her.

“Scoooootttt” She playfully pouts. “If I say I’m sorry, will you now stop acting like a butthole?”

I snort at her words and ignore her. When she doesn’t call for me again, or even speak to me for about five minutes, I get worried that maybe I pushed things too far in my tantrum.

Diffidently, I turn to face her. She is laying on her side, facing me, with her head propped up in her hand. She is looking at me with a knowing smirk.

“You are such a drama queen.”

“And you’re nosey as hell.” I retort back with a tone of being a bit put out.

She doesn’t get mad at my words, instead she yawns then wraps her arms around my shoulders, nuzzles her face into the crook of my neck and snuggles close.

“Lets go to bed, Scott...I’m tired..and we have a big day tomorrow.”

I’m surprised that she is ready for bed so early but grateful for the change of subject.

“Oh that reminds me... I told Jean that we would meet her at breakfast.”

“I know.” She yawns against my neck. “I heard. Why do you think I want to go to bed so early?”

“Are you mad?” I need to know. If she is, I can use this time tonight to think of a way to make it up to her. Ororo is not what people call a ‘morning person’ and she *never* wakes up in time to make it to breakfast.

“No..I’m not mad... but don’t blame me for my actions tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?” I ask nervously. “What are you going to do?”

She shrugs then presses up closer against me.

Her movements make my breath catch and make me forget all about my trepidation concerning tomorrows breakfast. And before I think about what I am doing, I find myself wrapping my arms around her slender waist and pulling so close to me that it feels like we are almost molded together.

Every muscle in her body tenses and immediately I regret my actions. This is the first time I’ve ever embraced her so aggressively.

Right when I am about to let her go, she relaxes in my embrace and snuggles impossibly closer.

I relax as well and revel in the act of being able to hold her like this and being held as well.

I love this.

We fit so perfectly together. It is almost as if God made her for me and me for her.

It takes about 15minutes until her breathing slows into tiny deep-sleep puffs. It is then when I pull back a little, gently brush back her hair and stare into her beautiful face.

I can’t help but think about how ironic it is that Jean came back today. It felt weird seeing her. However, it cemented a fact that I already knew. The fact that I don’t love her anymore. That’s why I was taking that compatibility test. I wanted to find out what my ‘Ms. Right’ would be like.

Its stupid now that I think about it. I had my answer even before I finished the test. Actually, I had my answer before I even started taking the test.

How do I know this?

Because I am holding my ‘Ms. Right’ in my arms right now.

I think Ororo knew that I was describing her when I answered those questions. That’s probably why she didn’t press the issue. She probably didn’t want to hurt my feelings and break my heart.

Fuck!

Now my heart is breaking anyway! I mean... I knew that she was in no way ready to start dating. That doesn’t matter to me because I don’t mind waiting. I would wait forever if I had too.

But now...just knowing that I *don’t* have a chance at all!!!

Ohhhh... my heart...it feels like its collapsing!!!

This feels worse than when Jean dumped me.

This feels ..

Ororo shifts making me leave my depressing thoughts and roll onto my back. I don’t pull her with me but she shifts herself until her top half is resting on my chest and her head is laying on my shoulder. She then brings up her hand up and lazily caresses the hair at the nape of my neck.

God that feels so good.

When I look down at her, she gives me a tired yet reassuring smile and whispers lovingly.

“Go to sleep, teddy bear.”

I smile at her private nickname for me, close my eyes and relax.

She knows me so well.

Even in her sleep, she knows when I’m stressing myself for no reason at all.

She wasn’t dismissing my affections after all. She’s just not ready for that type of relationship.

“Beauty”

“Hmm?” She mummers as she answers my private nickname for her.

“Are you sure you’re not telepathic?”

She lets out a tired chuckle. “You better hope not, Slim”

I laugh at that and start caressing her hair like she is doing to mine.

“Good night, Ro.”

“Good night, Scott.”

And now that my hopes are not crushed, I know I can wait until she is ready.

If I am not anything, I am a patient man.

tbc

“I am so sick an tired of hearing your whiny scratchy voice! All you ever do is complain! Why don’t you shut up for once and follow your orders!”

“Listen darlin’ I’m not going to stand here and listen to your bullshit!”

“No *you* listen!” Storm yells as she towers over the Wolverine. His claws are out, but she is not intimidated in the least. “Its you’re fucking fault that we are all dead now!”

“Well if you think that I am going to abandon Jean to accomplish some damn mission, you’re off your fucking rocker lady!” He roars back. “Anyway, Ol One-eye’s strategy was all fucked up! If I followed his plan we would be dead anyway so get off my fucking case!”

“There was nothing wrong with his strategy!” Ro’s voice is low, but it is dangerous and powerful like thunder. “But if there was, I guess we’ll never know because *you* completely sacrificed us all right from the fucking beginning! And Marvel girl!” Ro corrects as she points at said person. “Is a fucking X-men! She doesn’t need a white knight leaping into battle for her every time she is danger! We’re *always* in danger! And If she can’t hack it then, she needs to stay in the fucking lab!”

“Now hold here! I don‘ t know who you think *you* are..” Jean seethes “But I’ve been part of this team longer than you have. So don’t think that just because your fucking Scott gives you the right to tell me where I should or should not be!”

“Excuse me?” Ororo roars as she spins around to face the other female in the room. Blue lightening swirls around her and she balls her hands into tiny fist. “I’ll show you who I think *I* am!”

This is just fucking great. I’m watching a bunch of class A mutant idiots yell at each other when we should be practicing for our next mission. By the way they are acting, you would think they were enemies instead of close friends.

“Stop it right now!” I snap at both of them, but mostly to Jean. “Our private lives have no baring here!” I then turn completely to Jean. “ And since you’ve so nicely informed us of your tenure, you already know that what you just said is completely uncalled for!”

I glance at Ororo, I can tell that it’s killing her not to verbally rip Jean into shreds, but in respect to my authority she keeps quite.

Jean however, does not give me the same respect. “Scott, she was out of line!”

“It’s Cyclops. And no” I growl out. “Storm was completely right! *Marvel Girl* as long as you keep acting like a damsel in distress you’re not an asset to the team. You’re a liability!” A fierce frown stops her from trying to interrupt again. I then glower at every single person in the room.

Hank, Bobby and Peter give me a, whadda *I* do look. In truth, they hadn’t done anything wrong, so I decide to ignore them and concentrate my attention and those who I am truly mad at.

“I don’t know about the rest of you but *I* want to live to see our next mission!” I bite out and turn my gaze toward Wolverine “And as long as you ignore the plan we won’t!”

I’m so angry, I could just blast him. But I don’t. That would make my behavior just as bad as them. So instead, I turn angrily on my heel and stomp away in a tantrum, like a bratty child.

I know Ro is going to tease me about this later, but right now, I don’t care.

But before I leave the danger room completely, I give all of them a side profile of my extreme displeasure and bite out “We better not*ever* have another training session like this again! We‘re X-men not children! So act like it! Do I make myself clear?”

I didn’t get an answer before I slam the door behind me, but actually, I didn’t expect one.

I don’t go to the room right off. I actually went up to the attic to work on the apartment that Ororo and I are going to move into. She doesn’t know I got permission to do this. Its going to be a surprise for her. So I used that time and energy to burn off steam. I didn’t want to lash out at Ororo in the room because of what happened earlier. So when I finally make it to the room a few hours later. I find her on the bed, laying on her stomach and watching TV. She looks freshly bathed, for she is wrapped snuggly in her favorite plush Egyptian cotton robe and her hair is still wet and spread out on her back and partially on the bed.

She has this thing about letting her hair air dry. I don’t really mind it, because its her hair, but...it gets the bed all wet.

So before I say anything to her, I go into the bathroom and get a clean towel from the bathroom cabinet to pat dry her hair. She doesn’t mind me doing this. Now that I think about, she probably lets her hair soak the bed because she knows I *will* do this.

The towel I grab out of the cabinet is also made of Egyptian cotton. I have the feeling that from now on that’s all we will be using.

She actually got them from Egypt last month, when the professor took her to represent the X-men. I can remember when he announced that he was taking her at dinner like it was happening today. Jean and everyone else was so jealous that he chose her over the rest of us, but Xavier had his reasons. Ororo was the only one who spoke fluent Egyptian.

Yes, it was a surprise to me too when I found out. She never told me that she was bilingual. Later that night, before we settled for bed, she told me that my shock at the news was my own fault for underestimating her intelligence because she only had a fourth grade education.

She was teasing of course, because like her, I too only have a fourth grade education.

We both had a hard life.... but it never stopped us from making the most of it.

However, after finding out that she spoke Egyptian that night I also found out that she spoke about four languages fluently. Kenyan, Spanish, Egyptian, Italian and English to be exact. She also knows a nice bit of Russian, thanks to Peter. None of the others were taught formally either. She told me it was just something she picked up while living on the streets. Except Kenyan, she said she learned that from her mom.

While she was away in Egypt, she shared with me, during one of our many and long phone calls, a little bit about her life before her parents died and told me that Kenyan was the primary language they spoke in her home, for it was her mother’s native tongue. Her mother was really strict about her knowing her roots and lineage, so she learned how to speak that before she ever learned English. Afterwards, I begged for her to share some of her lineage with me. Reluctantly, she agreed.

To say I was impressed is an understatement.

My Ororo is an African Princess, literally!

I mean, I always knew she had a royal air about her. But WOW! I wasn’t expecting that!

It wasn’t until after her parents death did she learn the other languages. She learned Egyptian from this guy name Achmed. He was some sort of master thief/conman, who she called Uncle. When the rescue crew pulled her out of the rubble, Achmed lied to the authorities and told them that Ro was a relative of his. Because she had no other family and all the friends her family had died when the brownstone collapsed, there was no one to prove if this man was telling the truth. So they let her go with him. He could have been a murderer or a pimp, but they let her go. Luckily for Ororo, the man was pretty decent, for a professional thief, and took her under his wing as an apprentice . He taught her everything she knows about stealing, and he kept her safe and away from the other predators who would rather use Ororo in different ways. She stayed with him from the time she was nine until she was 14. Because it was then when Achmed was thrown into jail for trying to rob a house that was better guarded than Fort Knox. However, during that time she befriended a young Puerto Rican girl named Isabella, and it was from her where she were she learned Spanish.

Ororo never told me what happened to Isabella, but by the way she dropped the subject, I knew it wasn’t a good memory for her.

From the age 14, she lived on the streets by herself until she was 16. Then she met a 20 year old Italian guy named Antonio and started dating him. He was affiliated with the mob, but he was a grunt trying to work his way up. She said that at first, she only stayed with him because he had a posh apartment and allowed her to live in it. The love she felt for him developed over time. She said he spoke the Italian so much that she couldn’t help but learn it. However, it was American Italian. Not exactly the same as the Motherland.

I’m not sure why, but hearing about her past relationship with Antonio bothered me.

I guess it’s because I could hear the smile in her voice when she spoke of him and what they used to do together. *And* because she admitted that if it wasn’t for her powers surfacing, she would probably still be with him today. Before Jean broke her out of jail, he was coming to bail her out. I asked her if she ever thought about going back to him. She assured me no. Because as happy as she was with him, she was a million times more happy with me.

And that’s when were weren’t even dating!

Does she know how to stroke my ego or does she know how to stroke my ego!!

I leave my thoughts, when I sit beside her on the bed, and retrieve her brush from her nightstand. I then begin to brush her long, thick ,platinum locks with one hand, while I following my strokes with the towel underneath with the other.

“Umm.... sorry.” She says. Her chin is resting on folded arms while her focus is toward the TV.

“For what?” I ask softly as I concentrate on my tasks.

“For earlier. I didn’t mean to explode like that....Logan and Jean...they just made me sooo” She growls “Angry!”

I don’t say anything. Instead, I keep brushing her hair in efficient yet tender strokes. She doesn’t press me for a response. Nor does she say anything else for about thirty minutes and until I am almost done brushing her hair dry.

“Are you upset with me?”

“No, of course not.” I sooth. “Why do you ask?”

She is about to answer then shakes her head no to dismiss the question.

I stop brushing her hair. “Ororo...Why would you think that I am upset with you? I took your side, did I not?”

She sighs then turns until she is laying on her back and looking at me. “You called me Storm.”

I give her a confused look.

“In the danger room.” She clarifies.

“Oh...” I quirk a brow “I always call you Storm when we are in uniform....”

Ro shakes her head no. “Only when you are upset.”

I didn’t believe her, using code names while in uniform is a big pet peeve of mine. But nonetheless, in my heart, I knew she was right.

Ororo continued. “I know you don’t believe me, Scott but even after you gave us that *long* lecture about using our code names while in uniform... You still use *my*.. name.”

I make mental note not to do that anymore, right before I say “Maybe I do, but...I’m the leader so I’m entitled to engage in a little double standard” I then lean forward and lay a light kiss on her the tip of her cute little regal nose before she can protest. “I’m not mad. I promise.”

“But you were?” She sits up slightly and props herself up on her elbows after I sit back up.

I sigh and admit “Yes, I was... but not at you. *You* followed the plan. It’s Logan... and Jean.” I turn away from her until I am facing the edge of the bed and stare at my hands. “I just don’t know what has happened to her...I mean she used to be a better fighter than that. But ever since Logan came back...” I shake my head regretfully. “Now...I’m not even sure if I can count on her anymore....I think I may have to drop her from the team. She’s going to gets us all killed for real...”

Ororo doesn’t say anything, but I feel the bed shift when she moves to sit behind me. She gives me a brief hug from behind, then starts to massage my shoulders and back. She always does this for me when I am overly stressed.

“Scott...If I tell you something...You promise you won’t get all upset?”

“No.” I answer truthfully.

Ro laughs at my bluntness and to me it sounds like angels bells. So very beautiful.

“Fine then... but you were forewarned.”

“So noted.” I say in a mock Cyclops tone. Which only makes her laugh harder.

“Scott, there is nothing wrong with Jean’s fighting ability. ....It’s a ploy to gain Logan’s attention.”

“What?!” I spin around to face her. “Are you telling me that Jean is attracted to that little runt?!” My voice was laced with anger.

Ororo doesn’t answer. Instead, she is disappointed by my reaction and scoots back to get away from me.

Dammit, I’ve hurt her.

Ever since Jean moved back in, almost a year ago, she has been worried that I am still in love with my ex. And that our new, only a month in the making, romantic relationship is rebound. That fear, of me leaving her for Jean, was one of the many reasons it took us so long to finally get together.

But what Ororo doesn’t understand is that I don’t give a rats ass that Jeans attracted to Logan. What pisses me off is that she is endangering Ororo’s safety with her little games.

“Beauty” I say as lovingly as I possibly can and as I grab her hands to keep her from moving any further away. “Please ... don’t be upset. That came out all wrong.”

“There’s always a bit a truth in words said in anger, Scott” She whispers solemnly as she stares at both our hands.

“Your right....Logan *is* a runt.” When she gives me a shocked look, which tells me that wasn’t what she meant, I can’t help but crack a smile. “Well, he *is*.”

“Scott” She sighs. I can tell she is fighting back tears, even though its not in her voice. The overcast which has just blocked the sun told me so. “If you want to compete for Jean’s affections...don’t string me along.”

“Ro” I interrupt. “I don’t want Jean! Please believe me. I *don’t* want Jean.... What was that saying you told me the other day?... Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt”

“Then why did you get so upset?”

“Because of her *game!*” I crawl on the bed, straddle her legs and trap them between my knees. “Love, when Logan diverged from the plan to go play hero... that left you with no back up!”

“Trust me, I know.” She mumbles out of the corner of her mouth

I let go of one her hands and caress her beautiful face. “I can’t help but think that if this was a real mission, you could have gotten hurt, or worse yet, you could have been killed for real!” When she bites her bottom lip unconsciously, I feel like ice dropped into my stomach. I know something is wrong. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

I don’t know if Ororo knows this or not, but I know her better than I know myself. And right now, she sounds too innocent and that means she is lying.

“Ororo.”

“Scott...” She sighs wearily. “Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid....because I don’t need you fighting my battles, alright?”

I don’t promise a damn thing. I just stare at her expectantly. After a few minutes, she reluctantly wiggles her other hand free from my grip, closes her eyes, and then, even more reluctantly unwraps her robe from her body.

“This is why I was so angry at the both of them.” She admits in a sheepish whisper.

I don’t even think it takes a second before I am out of the room and heading for the steps. I am too angry to wait for the elevator.

I’ve never really been one to act on my emotions. Inwardly, I rage, but outwardly, I have the uncanny ability to be able to keep a level head in almost every type of situation I’ve been faced with. But right now I don’t give a fuck! I’m so angry I could literally kill someone!

I really don’t know who I am mad at more. Jean for pretending that she couldn’t protect herself. Logan for leaving Ororo with no back up. Or the Professor for making that fucking danger room so realistic. Ororo’s whole body was covered in bruises, cuts and gashes. If the attack was real though, she would be dead right now. But luckily, the realistic illusions cease to attack before the injuries become life threatening.

“Scott!” Ororo yells as she grabs my wrist. “What the hell are you doing?”

I spin around to face my furious princess, but all my words leave me. What *am* I doing? I have no idea. Am I going to go beat the shit of Logan, Jean and the Professor? Logan maybe...but...What am I *doing*?

“I thought so.” Ororo sighs as she gives me a disappointed yet knowing shake of the head “Scott Summers you are such a hot head.” She tugs at my wrists and leads me back up the staircase. When we are back in the room she continues to chastise. “I don’t know who’s worse sometimes.... You or Logan.”

“You’ve just insulted me, I hope you know.” I grumble.

“Good. You deserve to be insulted. You’re acting like an idiot.” She retorts as she pushes me on the bed.

I look up at my angry girlfriend from where I am sitting. Ororo is probably the only person, save the professor that knows I can have a quite a temper. It rarely ever surfaces, but sometimes, when I am overly stressed, it explodes like an active volcano. She’s the only person who has seen it and lived to tell about it.

Personally, I can never tell when I am about to blow, but Ro can. She knows all of my secrets so she knows what I am capable of. So during those times she usually tells me bad news, starting of with ‘I want you to promise me that you won’t get mad, or do anything stupid.’

“Scott, my injuries are not as bad as they look.” She assures with her hands on her hips

“How can you say that?”

“Because while you were off doing who knows what, I went to Hank and had my injuries checked out. The bruises look bad but they are superficial.”

It doesn’t bother me that she trusted her ex to treat her. He and I are once again good friends. It took a while, but we worked things out. I think the fact that she and I roomed together for over a year without dating helped him realize that she didn’t dump him for me. After she and I finally started dating, he even came to me and admitted that he would have never been able to be as patient as I was.... and still am.

Despite what Jean said earlier, Ro and I have yet to do anything more than kiss.

“Ro”

“No, don’t Ro me!” She chastises. “Scott, you need to relax before you do something you regret!”

She’s right. I do need to relax. I’ve been overly stressed for a while now, since Marie, a young mutant girl that joined our ranks a few months past, left to join Magneto. It’s not her fault, she is confused. Calisto lied to her and then to top it off, she mistakenly absorbed all of the original Marvel Girls powers. So she is *extremely* powerful and on the wrong side. However, out of all of us, I think Logan wants her back the most. He feels that he failed her because she left us while he was away.

“Scott....” Ro says interrupting my thoughts. “Let’s go on a vacation. You need one. I need one. ”

I wish we *could* get away for a while. But there is just no possible way. “We can‘t, Ro, we have a mission coming up... And after what happened today, we need all the practice we can get.”

“That’s why we need one!”

I just shake my head. “Love, right now the X-men have a problem with team work. As it stands right now the only ones who work well together are you and myself, Peter, Bobby and Hank. Jean works well with everyone, but she’s come down with a damsel in distress complex and Logan doesn‘t work well with anyone. You know, just as I do that this is a recipe for disaster.”

“Scott, I need this....What if I tell you that I know I shouldn’t have been depending on Wolverine to be there to back me up today and that I should have prepared myself for every scenario... like you keep telling me to do. If I would have done that I would have been prepared to take on the extra soldiers.”

I reach up, grab her hand and gently pull her towards me until she sitting on my lap. “It’s not your fault, Ro. And blaming yourself is not going to make me change my mind.”

“I know” She admits in a defeated sigh. “It’s all of our fault.... Yours too.”

“ME?!” I squeak out affronted.

“Yes, you! I didn‘t stutter.” She leans forward until her forehead is resting against mine, and she is staring directly in my eyes. “It’s your fault too, Scott.”

She does this all the time now. It doesn’t bother her, but it scares the hell out of me because the only thing that is keeping her from certain death is my glasses. And if they shift or slip off ... I’ve lost her.

So I lean back and ask

“How? How is it *my* fault?”

She looks at me like I’m stupid “Because your strategy was all screwed up!”

“What?!” I almost push her off of me for speaking such rubbish.

“Scott, don’t tell me that you didn’t realize that you didn’t give us enough time to get out!”

My mouth opens and closes like a fish.

“I can’t believe this!” She yells to the ceiling then looks back at me exasperated. “Scott, you only allotted us enough time to get in and accomplish the mission. You left no time for escape!”

“No,... I made sure there was enough time to get out.”

“No dear, you didn’t.” She says matter-a-factly

When I start to protest, she makes me go through the entire plan with her. I was determined to prove her wrong. But in the end, she was right.

With her still sitting on my lap, I flop backwards on the bed. “Ororo... if you knew beforehand...Then why didn’t you tell me?!!! And why did you bitch at Logan?”

“Because...” She answers as she gets up, but only to straddle my waist.

“*Because* is not an answer, Ro. You‘ve must have told me that a million times.”

“Smart ass” She teases. “What about the double standard rule?”

“Ro” I whine “I’m serious, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t have a chance. You briefed us on our part then sent us out to practice. I wasn’t going to point out your mistake in front of everyone. Especially Logan! He would never let you live that down! And because you rushed out of the room, I never had the chance to pull you aside and tell you..... Though I doubt that you would have listened to me anyway.”

I prop myself on my elbows and look at her. I am dumbfounded and insulted by her last comment. “That’s not true and you know it!”

“Scott, *you* listen to me. Now Cyclops, on the other hand...” She shakes her head no.

“I’m not that bad, am I?” I poke out my bottom lip.

“Yes... you are.” She looks at me seriously then gives me a loving smile. “But I wouldn‘t have you any other way. Now, to answer your other question to why I bitched at Logan. He LEFT me without back up! Without even a WARNING!! He’s lucky I didn’t put a lightening bolt up is ass! Then to add insult to injury, we couldn’t even accomplish the *mission* because he wanted to go and play hero!” She punched the bed. I could tell she was letting off some of the steam she had to hold in earlier. “I don’t mind dieing for the cause...but I’ll be damned if my life is going to be sacrificed for a failed mission!”

I give her a distressed look. “Ororo, I don’t want you dieing at all! I would never purposely give you or anyone a suicide mission. I just miscalculated!”

“I know.” She says as she leans forward and rests her forehead against mine again. “That’s why I am going to offer you a proposal.”

“Which is?” I ask as I lay back down. Perhaps, later, I’ll tell her how much her doing that scares me.

She sits back up and give me a breathtakingly brilliant smile. “I’m suggesting that we get away from here.”

“Ro, I already told you...there’s no possible way right now...”

“Just listen to what I’m saying before you make up your mind alright?”

“Ororo...” I protest.

“Scott.” She interrupts. “You need and deserve a break. Unlike the rest of us, you‘re the only one who has to deal with the responsibility of being a X-men 24/7. All *we* have to do is follow the plan. But you have to think about it, create it, work out all the kinks and what ifs. *You* never get a break, because you always have think about your job as leader. You’re always thinking of ways to make sure everyone gets out of the mission alive.” She crosses her arms and pouts. “It’s not fair... It’s not fair that you have to do this all by yourself. You need help!”

I nod at her words. It *would* be easier for me if I had someone I could bounce off ideas with. “Do you want to help me?... I mean.. if you want...”

Since we’ve become friends, I’ve tried to keep our work and personal relationship separate. I want her to be able to feel safe in her personal life. I want her to be able to escape from the world that hurt her.

“Do you trust me enough?” She asks seriously but with a surprised smile.

“You’re the *only one* I trust enough.” I answer completely serious. And she is. Which surprises me, because I trust Jean completely, but not like I trust Ro.

She looks down at her hands, shyly. I watch her long lashes brush against her cheeks. That action makes her look so young and childishly innocent. It makes me remember that she is almost two years younger than me and not even old enough to legally drink. When she looks up and at me again, she now looks confident, and strong. She looks like the woman I am so madly in love with and the teammate that I so deeply respect.

“So...what exactly are you asking me to do? Do you want me to be... Co-Leader or something?”

“What?!” I almost yell out and sit back up. Were did she get that idea?

“Fine, I’ll do it!” She smiles brightly. “And I have equal say...even in public. Right?”

“Ororo, I think you are misunderstanding what I asked. I only wanted to know if I could bounce off ideas with you.”

“What did you say, Scotty” She asks in a phony old woman’s voice as she cones her hand around her ear. “You want me to be co-captain?”

“Ro.” My tone is flat and un-amused by her antics.

“Co-captain you say?” She interrupts in that same scratchy voice. “Sure, I’ll do it. No need to beg.”

“Ororo.”

“I said okay. Sheesh!”

I refuse to say her name again. Instead, I just frown at her. This was not what I meant and she knows it. After a few minutes of silence. she finally gives up.

“Fine! I didn’t want to be co-captain anyway.” She crosses her arms and refuses to look at me. But she doesn’t get off of me so I know she isn’t really angry.

“Beauty...” I smile out because of her mock tantrum. “If you want the job, you can have it...But only under one condition.”

She looks at me as if she is surprised that I relented to her request. I don’t know why she is surprised though, I rarely deny her anything. I mean she is sharing my coveted room, so why would sharing a leadership position be any different. Moreover, she doesn’t know this yet, but the team already looks to her as a co-captain. Despite the argument earlier, usually even Jean respects and follows Ororo’s decisions. I’ve noticed this and so has the professor. They go to her before they come to me and she brings their grievance to me. I guess everyone feels that Storm is easier to talk to than Cyclops.

“What’s the clause, Scott?” She asks bringing me out of my thoughts.

“It’s that if working so closely together starts affecting us...” I point at her and myself, but I mean something much more vast, I’m talking about our personal relationship. “I want you to give up the position. I don’t want to loose what we have, Ro. Not because of the X-men. ”

“I Agree.” She smiles brightly and kisses me on the lips. “But understand this Scott, the only reason I am taking this job is because I want to help*you*. I hate seeing you so stressed and tired all the time. You have too many responsibilities my love, and because of that....”

“I’m making errors that I wouldn’t normally make.”

She nods woefully in agreement. “I just want to help you, Scott...I don’t even need or want the title. I just want to help you.”

I kiss her this time. A slow, intimate, open mouth kiss. She responds in kind which only makes me wish we could do more. But I know she is not ready, so I reluctantly break the kiss before I do something I will regret later.

“Do you want to start working on strategies right now?” I breath out as I try to control my raging hormones.

She shakes her head no and breaths out. “Not tonight.” Right before she kisses me again.

I want to take her words as a green light to do more intimate things but.. I know better.

After she pulls back, I ask “Then what do you suggest we do, my co-captain?”

She gives me a sheepish grin. “I suggest we use this free time to find a place so you can take a break from being the leader of the X-man and from being a mutant. I suggest that tonight, we are going to find a place were you can be a regular guy and me, a regular girl.”

“There’s no such place.” I whisper back solemnly.

“Then we’ll just have to make one” She smiles lovingly and kisses me tenderly on the mouth. Afterwards, she quickly gets up and runs over to the closet and starts pulling out clothes.

“What are you doing, Ro?”

“Getting dressed!”

I sit up. “For what?”

“Because we are going to find our special spot.”

“When...now?”

“That’s what I said” She shakes her head. “You don’t listen...are you sure you’re not in Cyclops mode already?”

I am almost insulted by that question. “Ro, we can’t go tonight!”

“Sure we can!”

“No... we can’t... I have dinner duty tonight!”

She stops what she is doing and gives me a queer look. Then informs me, matter-a-factly. “We’re going, Scott.”

Great, now she’s giving me that come hell or high water look. There’s no way I’m going to be able to talk her out of this idea now.

“Scott...” She says as she is sifting through her clothes. “Sometimes you’ve got to tell the world to go fuck itself. You can’t follow the rules *all* the time. Sometimes you gotta make your own rules...You know... Carpe Diem and all of that bullshit.”

It’s not about rules. And its’ not that I *want* to cook either. It’s just that... a few days ago I made a big deal about everyone doing their chores. I even called a meeting and everything. Usually, I’m not so anal about house chores, it’s just that Logan acts like he doesn’t have to do them or follow the rules... He just struts around the mansion like he owns the place and.... it pisses me off.

So now, if I skip out of my chores, he’s going to give me grief about it.

Absently, I can hear Ororo continuing to talk to me but I’m not really listening. I’m thinking of a way to change her mind without really changing it.

Then I get an idea!

I quickly pad over to her and grab her hand. “Ok...lets go!”

“Wait! I’m not dressed!”

“It doesn’t matter.” I say dragging her out of the room, down the long corridor and to the steps. She’s wrapped in her robe, so its not like she’s naked.

“Wait, Scott!” She yells as she digs her heels in the plush hall carpet. “Where are we going?”

I turn and face her. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.” She answers without hesitation.

“Good, because its a surprise.” I answer back as I lead her up the stairs. Though I can‘t help but puff my chest out a bit, at her words.

It isn’t long before we are almost at our destination .

Ororo follows and looks around disappointedly. “We’re in the attic, Scott.”

“I know.” I answer cheerfully, while still leading her deeper into the massive area. “Ok, close your eyes.”

“Huh?”

I turn around to face her again. “Close our eyes, Beauty. Its a surprise!”

She gives me a skeptical look then reluctantly closes those beautiful orbs. I quickly swoop her into a cradle position, making her squeal and wrap her arms tightly around my neck.

“Keep your eyes closed, Ro!” I laugh.

“They are!” She assures as she looks at me.

After I’ve made sure her eyes were closed, I lightly kick the door open and walk her across the threshold.

“Ok, you can open your eyes now.”

“Oh...my God!”

“Do you like it?” I ask timidly as I gently put her down. I really hope she does. I’ve been working on the apartment for about 4 months now. I’ve had some hired help, but not much. I really wanted to do this place for her, by myself.

It has a large bedroom, a living room with floor to ceiling windows that leads onto a balcony, a huge bathroom with a whirlpool tub and a separate shower and a small kitchen. Neither Ro or myself are much on cooking. Oh and last but not least. It has a walk-in-closet that is almost as large as our room is now. I figure, they way she buys clothes it wouldn’t be long until she fills it up.

I watch Ororo slowly walk around the unfinished apartment then turn back to me.

“Is this for me?”

I nod proudly.

“Are you kicking me out?”

“NO! Of course not!” How could she even think that?! I quickly walk over to her and wrap my arms around her slender waist. “I...I was just..I wanted to give us more space.”

“Oh” She looks toward the bedroom then the closet that looks like another room. “Ummm”

I see the fear in her eyes “It’s a closet, Ro. Not a separate room.”

“Oh” She breathes out in relief.

“Unless...you want it to be a bedroom.”

“What?” She asks fearfully.

I touch her stomach and shrug sheepishly. But inwardly I am screaming, ‘what the hell am I doing?!’ I don’t know why I did that! I don’t even know why I said that! It was just an outspoken hope.

“I’m not pregnant, Scott. I mean.. You know we haven’t...”

“I know” I cut in. “I was just talking about... in the future.”

“Oh” A smile slowly graces those perfect lips and she mischievously starts speaking in a thick fake southern accent. “Why Scott Summers I do declare, If I didn’t know better I would think that you were suggesting a proposal of marriage.”

“Maybe I am.” I say with complete seriousness. After my mind realizes what I said , I slap my hand over my mouth.

I’m not taking back the proposal. I’m just wishing that I hadn’t said it. It’s a big step and I’m terrified that I just scared her off. I mean, despite the fact that we have been sharing a bed for over a year, She and I have only been dating for a month. And the most intimate thing we’ve done in that relationship is open mouth kiss. We’ve never even purposely touched each other private parts because it makes her uncomfortable! And here I am, asking her to marry me.

She glowers at me then breaks away from my hold and stalks toward the door.

Shit, just as I feared. I scared her off.

“Ororo wait!”

A loud clap of angry thunder is my answer.

We are now out of our apartment and in the thick of the junk filled attic.

“Ro, Please... wait!”

She spins on her heel to face me. “Scott, leave me alone!”

“Never.” I answer back and grab her shoulders. Her eyes turn pure white when I touch her, but I don’t let go. “I love you, Ororo Munroe!”

“You love me but... you just don’t want to marry me!” She cuts in angrily.

“What?” I ask dumbly. I wasn’t expecting that response. “I never said that!”

“You didn’t have to.” She seethes then yanks my hands off of her shoulders. “Your actions said it all for you!”

“Ro, you don’t understand...”

“Like hell I do! If you didn’t want me...”

“Ororo, *I* don’t want you?” The outrageousness of that question is in my voice but apparently she didn’t hear it because she screams.

“I *know* that already!!” Which is accompanied with lightening and thunder.

I grab her shoulders again. “Would you just calm down a minute! You’re taking my words out of context!” She shakes her head no, but I continue with my soul’s declaration anyway. “ I love you! And I want you! I want to be your husband! I want you to be my wife! I want to have a family with you!”

“Then... why did you take it back?” Tears start to stream out of her still white eyes.

God it hurts to look at her when she’s crying.

“It’s because I’m used and dirty isn’t?” She volunteers and nods in a way that tells me that she is trying to make me agree with her, but I don’t.

Her voice is so broken and it breaks my heart to hear it. In my heart, I knew that when she walked off, she thought I didn’t want her because of what happened to her during Project X.

“Ro, you’re *not* dirty! God knows it’s not your fault what happened to you! It was those bastards fault!” She looks away and refuses to meet my gaze “If anyone is dirty.... it’s me..” That makes her look at me and she shakes her head no.

She knows what I am talking about. I’ve told her everything I can remember about my life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And she knows that I am referring to my time while I lived on the streets. She knows that I was talking about the occupation I had to do just to survive.

There's not many ways for a homeless, adolescent, blind mutant to make money. Not many legal ways that is.

“Scott,” She sobs and wraps her arms tightly around my neck. “You’re *not* dirty! And if you say that again I’m going to shock you!”

I shake my head no and bury my shamed face in the crook of her neck. “Ororo... unlike you I had a choice.”

“Jack would have killed you.” She reminds as she kisses my temple.

“What I used to do.... killed me anyway.” I sob and hold her closer to me.

“Oh..Scott...” She doesn’t say anything more. She doesn’t have to. Words cannot comfort me. Jean tried to comfort me with words, after she found out that I was force to be a child prostitute. I didn’t tell her, like I told Ororo. She had peaked into my thoughts, uninvited and found out.

Ororo understands that I don’t need words. I don’t even want them. What I *need* is to *feel* worth something. I need to be physically comforted without it being sexual. Because for so long, while living on the street, I was treated like trash, and the only touch I ever received hurt me.

Ororo, understands this and holds me and caresses my back in comforting circles until I have calmed down. She understands that it’s what I need. I need to be held. I need to feel loved. I need to feel like I am worth something. Something more than just a good fuck.

She makes me feel loved...complete...clean. She told me once, that I make her feel the same way.

About 20 long minutes later, I‘ve finally composed myself. I pull back and look into her beautiful face.

“I love you” She assures me in a soulful whisper as she gently and tenderly caresses my face. “I love so much.”

“I love too” I choke out. I really do. I love her so much, I feel like I am going to explode sometimes. Like now.

It’s so weird, how I have changed just by my sharing my private life with Ro. She knows everything about me. The abuse I lived through, and all of the things I did on the street just to survive and even the stuff I am deathly ashamed of. And she *still* looks at me with love. She doesn’t pity me. She respects me even more for surviving what I had to live through.

I’ve never been able to tell anyone about that stuff before. Xavier and Jean knew, but the read my thoughts. I never *told* them. I never wanted them to know. But I had no choice in the matter, It wasn’t about trust with them. They delved in my memories at their leisure and I was stuck with hoping they wouldn’t judge me to badly for what I’ve done. Or pity me for what I had to live through.

I think that’s why I try to be everything they want me to be. I want them to see me for who I am and not what I was.

Perhaps that was their plan. I don’t know.

But with Ororo... She had no way parading into my thoughts, picking and choosing the things she wanted to see. No, I had to verbally tell her. Though the experience of confessing my life left me exposed and raw, it was also empowering. Empowering because it was *my choice* to tell her.

She is looking up at me, I can see her love for me glistening in her eyes. I can feel it in her embrace. I heard it in her voice. All of this together overwhelms me and makes it impossible for me to stop the words that spill forth.

“Ororo....” I breath out like a prayer. “I know a have a sordid past.... I have nothing to offer you. No money, not even a place of my own, not even a ring. All I have to give you is all of me, all of my devotion and all of my love. And please know that with everything I am Ro, I love you. Forever and a day I will love you. And even though I don’t deserve you.... A princess, *my* princess....I want to ask you to marry me.”

Her jaw drops and she looks completely and utterly shocked for about 30 seconds. When her mouth closes, it then opens up again, then closes again. Her words are not coming. But her emotions are written all over her lovely face.

“Are you serious?” She finally squeaks out disbelievingly.

I feel like my heart is in my throat, so all I can do is nod.

She looks away, unsure if I am telling the truth. However when she looks back at me she looks angry. No not angry, hurt. She looks hurt and tears are streaming out of her now blue eyes. “Then why did you take it back earlier?”

“I didn’t.” I assure tenderly as I cup her face with my hands and gently wipe away her tears with my thumbs. When she gives me a hopeful look, I continue “I love you, Beauty...and nothing in this world would make me happier than being your husband. I ...I just reacted badly because I was afraid that I may have scared you off by telling you my hearts desires so soon.”

She gives me a timid smile. “You’re not just saying this?”

I hug her close to me and whisper in her ear. “It’s the complete truth, Ro. I’d marry you today if you’d let me.”

She pull backs a little and stares at me for about a minute before she whispers. “Then ask me.”

Honestly, I thought I just did. But I ask again anyway.

“Ororo Munroe...will you marry me?”

She nods excitedly and ravishes my mouth with kisses . “Okay” Was her happy whispered response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was late getting down to make dinner. I wouldn’t have been down at all, but stupid Logan and his supersensitive nose went searching for me.

He found Ororo and I in our attic apartment and in a very intimate position.

But what makes his intrusion even worse is that it was the FIRST TIME we’ve ever been in that position.

I could have killed him, literally.

God, I hope he gets a cold that blocks that thing up. A bad, painful, stuffed up nose that drips into his mouth and with post nasal down his throat.

“Do you need help with anything?” Ororo asks me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“No, I’m fine.” I assure.

Ro and I are now in the kitchen. Cooking. Well, I’m cooking, she’s sitting on a stool and watching me with a happy smile on her face. A beautifully cheesy smile. And that smile is mirrored on my face.

“Are you sure?” She asks sweetly. She leans forward and rests her elbows on the kitchen island.

“Positive.” I happily assure again. “Actually, I’m almost done!”

“Really?!” She smiles out.

I turn at the waist, to face her, and nod to her question. I’m not making anything fancy. Just spaghetti. Not even fancy spaghetti. I’m just going to boil the noodles and dump the Ragu in. If Logan doesn’t like it, tough shit.

I smile back at her before I turn around to tend to what I’m cooking.

I can’t believe how happy I am. How right it feels to be engaged. To Her. To my princess. God, I feel like shouting it to the world.... or at least to everyone in the mansion.

A few minutes later, the food is ready.

“Ororo...”

“Hmm?” She hums dreamily as she gets up from her seat, to help me put the spaghetti in bowl.

I look at her, then lower my gaze to what we are doing. “Were you serious...?” I ask diffidently as she holds the bowl I am pouring the food into.

“Serious about what?”

I can feel her gaze on me. Shyly, I turn my attention toward the stove and say barely above a whisper “When you said ‘okay’ about marrying me today..... Were you serious?”

She doesn’t answer for about 30 seconds. The longest 30 seconds of my life.

“Why?”

Still not looking at her, I confess. “Because I want to get married today.”

“What?” She drops the bowl, and the pasta splays everywhere. “Today?! Are you serious?”

Like her, I ignore the mess on the floor and turn my complete attention to her beautiful face. “Yes, Today. I want to marry you today.”

“But...”

“Aren’t you the one who told me to seize the day?” I interrupt hopefully.

Her eyes are wide with the romantic excitement of the idea of eloping. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life!”

“Should we tell the others?” She breaths out excitedly.

I shake my head no. “They’ll only try to convince us to wait.”

“You mean they’ll try to convince us to do it right...With a wedding and such.”

“It will be right no matter how we do it.” I promise as I cup her cheek with my hand and kiss her tenderly on the lips. “I love you Ro, but if you want to wait...”

“I didn’t say that!” She smiles out excitedly. “It’s just... This is so impulsive ...”

“Beauty” I cut in before she can talk us both out of it. “I asked you to marry me because I *am* going to marry you. If not today, it will be sometime in the future....But this is how I see it.... If we are going to be married in the future...we might as well do it right now!.. Because either way ,we’ll *still* be together.. So why not be married.”

“Scott...are you sure? I mean are you really sure...?”

She’s giving me a look that tells me that she is willing to marry me today, but she is not ready to consummate it.

“I want this, Ro..” I do, I really do, and I will wait forever to have sex with her if I have too. Because its not about sex. Its about her. It’s about *us.* “I want to be your husband, and I want you to be my wife so your name can be Ororo Summers”

“Ororo Munroe -Summers” She corrects.

I nod and kiss her forehead before I concede. “Ororo Munroe-Summers.”

She smiles and asks “Are you sure you don’t want a wedding?”

I shake my head to reassure her that I don‘t. “But if you want one....I’ll make sure you have the biggest wedding you can imagine... Just...Later.. We can do the wedding thing later.. I just don’t want to wait.”

She looks hesitant and that’s when I realize that I’m pressuring her.

Shit.

However, before she can answer to give me a ye or ne, we are interrupted.

“Scott!”

Jeans calls out as she opens the kitchen door. “Logan wants to know what’s taking so ...Whoa!!!” She stops and grabs her temples.

“Jean!” Both Ororo and I cry out at the same time.

“Are you okay?” I ask worriedly as my fiancee quickly pads over toward her.

She holds up her hand to stop our worries as she shook her head ,to shake off the lethargic feeling. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

“What happened?” Ro asks.

Jean looks at her with a secret smile. “I dunno you tell me?”

My eyes widen worriedly. “What are you talking about?” I ask because I hope she doesn’t already know.

She gestures to the both of us “The emotions in here are so thick, I thought I was going to suffocate. So.... what’s going on?”

“Nothing.” I answer a bit to quickly.

“Don‘t lie to me, Scott. I am a telepath remember?”

I look at Ororo, to make sure she doesn’t mind me sharing the news, and I see her giving me the same look I am giving her. Then we both blurt out happily.

“We’re getting married!!”

At the news, Jean looks as if the wind was just knocked out of her. Her gaze shifts between the both of us before she forces the words to come out of her mouth “When did this happen?”

“No, Jean” Ororo answers sarcastically. “I believe what you are supposed to say is ‘congratulations.’”

“Oh yes of course,” She apologizes “Congratulations.... I was just surprised that’s all...This is all so...so sudden!” Jean walks into the kitchen and continues to talk, but mostly to me. “I mean.. you two just started dating... and now you are getting married....Don‘t you think that maybe...I dunno.. that you are rushing things a bit?”

I hear thunder rumbling in the distance and that isn’t a good sign. I glance at Ororo. She looks as calm as ever, but I know she is pissed. I look back at my ex and sigh disappointedly. I wish for once that she could just be happy for me and Ro. It always seems to take a while for her. She and Ro are friends but mostly for my sake. I’m not sure if they will ever truly be friends because Jean feels like she has seniority over me since she has known me longer and because she was my first love. Her possessiveness pisses Ororo off to no end, but my fiancée doesn’t say anything about it because she has this fear that if she makes an issue about it I will choose between them. And Ororo is convinced that I would choose Jean.

Which I wouldn’t but Ro doesn’t believe me when I swear to her that she would always be my first choice.

Perhaps today she will believe me.

“Jean..” I growl out.

“Look, I know what you guys are thinking...” She interrupts “And you’re wrong. I am happy for you two. Really, I am. You guys are prefect for each other.”

There is a bitterness in that last statement that I don’t understand. I mean *she* is the one who broke up with *me*. She’s the one who didn’t want *me.*

I’ve even come to accept the fact if it wasn’t for Project X, Jean and I probably would have never gotten together in the first place. We were put in the same cell together after she killed that man to save my life. She was distraught and sought comfort. And I was the only one in the cell with her, so I was the lucky guy who got the job. It was then, in a fit of tears, when she confessed that she loved me. Despite the situation, I was more than overjoyed over her confession, because those were the words that I had been waiting to hear from her for six years!

It was also in that cell, surrounded by all that sorrow and stress, where we made love for the first time.

But now that I think back on it, I think she only made that confession and had sex with me because she *honestly* believed that our cell was going to be our *coffin.*

And after we did, our relationship had changed, for the better, in my opinion. Jean, on the other hand, didn’t feel that way, but she was stuck. She couldn’t just tell me that she wanted things to go back to the way it used to be. No not after she was the one who initated our love making. But that was what she wanted . She wanted to go back to me being her love sick puppy and where I would be content with the scraps of affection she would give me here and there.

However, *she* had started something in that cell. She started our relationship because at the time, it was convenient for her. Convenient because she thought she was going to *die,*

But after we were free and *alive* Our relationship was a burden to her.

Why was it a burden?

Because romantically, Jean never wanted me like that.

I’ll admit, it hurt to accept that fact, but eventually I got over it. And now I’m glad because if she would have kept me, I would have never found my soul mate in Ororo.

But now, after she has cut me loose... Sometimes my ex acts like she wishes that I never moved on. Sometimes I get the impression that she wanted me to wait for her, wait on her forever.

I hate to admit this, but she is more attentive to me *now* than when we were dating. And even though she has Logan, it’s almost like she wants us both. Her flirtations have even gotten more frequent since Logan started training Ro in the art of hand to hand combat.

“I’m...just saying this because you two are *so young*...” She continues affably. “Marriage is a serious commitment. It can’t be taken lightly.”

“And we thank you for the advice *old* wise one!” Ororo bites out angrily “But I think we know what we are getting ourselves into.” Ro rolls her eyes and walks back over to me. Well not exactly to me. She crouches down and starts picking the spaghetti off the floor. When I make a move to help her, she looks at me and shakes her head no. I can tell that she is furious because her eyes keep flickering to pure white.

So I return my attention to my ex and bite out “Jean, you should know me well enough to know that I don’t take anything lightly!”

“Scott..” She cuts in.

But before she or I can say anything more we are interrupted.

“What the hell is taking so long?!”

Jean spins her attention to her current love interest. “Ororo and Scott are getting married.”

“And what does that have to do with my dinner not being ready?” Logan looks at his wrist and at his imaginary watch. “It’s 7:56pm. Dinner should have been ready 56 minutes ago! I thought we were supposed to be consistent with the chore schedule. I know *I* was last night. *I* actually had dinner on the table at 6:53pm!”

I grit my teeth and roll my eyes behind my glasses. Logan is such an ass.

“Logan, did you hear what I just said?” Jean huffs angrily. “Scott and Ororo are getting married!”

I hear thunder again. This time it’s closer and much louder.

He looks at her, then at me, then at Ororo who is ignoring him and still picking up the food on the floor. “Mother fucking hell!” He growls out and stomps over to the mess. “Is this supposed to be dinner?!” He glowers at me then crouches down to help Ro.

I can’t help but narrow my eyes when she doesn’t prohibit him from helping. I’m not going to lie. I really don’t feel comfortable with their friendship. I liked it better when she didn’t trust him and didn’t like him at all. But as time wore on, and Ro’s fear of people, other than me lessened, she and Logan had come to an convivial understanding. It wasn’t long after, did Logan subtly invite her to train with him.

Honesly, I didn’t think she would accept. She told me privately that in a lot of ways, he reminds her of Sabretooth. So I was surprised when she said yes. Unhappily surprised, I might add. I’m not going to lie, it really hurt my pride when she accepted. I was the one training her before Logan’s offer. But grudgingly, I must admit, she *is* a better fighter now. And I know for a fact that I couldn’t have helped her improve so quickly.

For that I will always be grateful to him.

However, with their sparring together, they have become good friends; in spite of the fact that while they are training together you wouldn’t be able to tell. In the danger room or wherever they are sparring, they talk to each other like trash, threaten each others lives when the other messes up. What happened eariler today was nothing. I have seen Ororo shock Logan with a lightening bolt just because she wanted to see what would happen to a man with a metal laced skeleton. Sure, she was extremely pissed with him at the time, and he deserved it.... but still.

“Umm..” Logan says softly to Ro. “Congratulations”

She doesn’t look at him but gives him a forced closed lip smile.

I just stare at the both of them. I’m sure my mouth is ajar, because I’ve never heard Logan’s voice so tender before, and it doesn‘t sit well with me that he is speaking to my future wife with it.

“So when’s the big day?” He asks, still in that gruffy yet gentle voice as he digs his hands into the mess on the floor and plops the noodles in the bowl.

Ro must be angrier than I first assumed because I’ve never seen Logan placate her before. Usually he pisses her off on purpose. He gets a kick out of her making the sky scream with thunder.

I glance at Jean and I can tell by the scowl on her face that this benign side Logan is not boding well with her either. However, I hope I am masking my feeling better than she is.

I now understand why she resentments Ro. Its because she is afraid that my fiancée is going to steal another man away from her. But for real this time. Ro is much younger and more beautiful than she is. What’s more, Ro doesn’t have to go out of her way to gain Logan’s attention. He gives it to her freely.

But between you and me, I think he does it because he knows it pisses me off. I say this because the attention he gives her is not of the flirtatious type. I have a feeling that he knows that would make her really uncomfortable. He just always notices when she is around and the two of them have these little private conversations. Privates as in Ro won’t tell me what was said. And that pisses me off. Ororo is *my* confidant and I don’t like sharing her! Though I would never admit that out loud.

I have jealousy issues. I know this and Ororo knows this. But luckily for me, it doesn’t bother her. As long as my obsession with her doesn’t become oppressive, she’s told me that she can live with it. I’m glad, because I don’t think that I can change. Things that I love, I covet and want to keep as mine.

Both Jean and I look expectantly at Ororo. I’m afraid of her answer because I’m not sure what she is going to say.

It takes a minute but Ororo finally confesses “Today” She then looks up and gives me a shy smile.

I return that smile with big ass grin of my own.

“Then you should go back upstairs and start getting ready.” Logan smiles “I’ll clean up this mess."

"Are you sure?” She asks excitedly

He nods “The magistrate doesn’t stay open 24hrs a day, you know. So get!”

She nods, quickly stands up, and pads over to me. Even though her hands are messy with sauce, she grabs hold of mine and happily and excitedly drags me toward the door. However, before I leave the kitchen completely, I turn back toward Logan and say

“Thanks”

Perhaps, Logan isn’t such an asshole after all.

He nods his head back. “Yeah whatever, One eye. Just don’t think I’m going to let you forget that you failed to do *your chores.* Especially after that meeting you called and that long ass speech you gave us!”

And just when I was starting to like the guy, he reverts back to his ol asshole self. I huff and turn on my heel to leave.

“Scott”

I turn back around. I’m stunned because this is the first time Logan has ever used my name. My real name.

His attention is completely on the mess he is cleaning up, but in a soft tone but not as tender as he used with Ro, he states. “You’re good for her.”

And for the first time since I’ve met this man, I realize how important his opinion of me really is. It means a lot. Much to my ultimate horror. It means so much in fact that I can’t stop the smile that tugs at the corners of my mouth, nor can I stop my chest from puffing out a bit.

“Come on, Scott!” Ro laughs out happily and tugs at my hand. “We want to get down to the court house before it closes!”

Her words were all it took for me to rush past her and start dragging *her* toward the elevator. As she and I run down the corridor, laughing like the two love birds we are, I can hear Jean’s voice in my head. She’s telling me congratulations, and because I am linked with her, I can tell that this time, she means it.

It always takes a while for her, but she eventually comes around.

tbc