Title: Crush
Author: Lia (juliannahawkhotmail.com)
Summery: Kitty thinks about her feelings for Scott.
Pairings: Kitty/Scott. Mentions of Jean/Logan.
Warning: Jean bashing.
Rating: PG (yes, you ARE seeing that right!)
Disclaimer: Many Moore owns 'Crush'. Marvel owns the X-men. I own the plot.
Sue and you'll get three pennies I found beneath the couch cushions today.
Feedback: HELL YES!
Dedications: My Soul Sister, Heather. My Hunny Bunny, Jeannie. And to the
best gay friend a gal can have, Logan!
Author's note: "Speech" 'Thoughts'


Kitty watched as Scott began to write a series of equations on the board.
Math, her worst subject, yet somehow, with Scott always there to help her,
she was doing incredible. The way his lips moved to form the words, and his
fingers held the chalk…She shook herself, before she drifted off to other
things those fingers could be caressing. She couldn’t help it, her mind
wandered to a day almost eight months ago.

*You know everything that I'm afraid of*

Kitty shrieked in fear as the garter snake wound itself around her trowel.
She bolted from the gardens, running right into Scott. “Kitty, what’s
wrong?” He caught her upper arms before she could trip.
Kitty blushed. “A snake, it, I mean,” she lowered her head, brunette hair
falling to hide her sheepish face.
“Here, let me get it for you.” Scott bent down, and unwound it gently. He
carried it over to the other side of the house, placing it in a tank one of
the boys had set aside for collecting them.

*You do everything I wish I did*

“Thank you. I’m sorry I screamed. Snakes just scare me so much.” Kitty
looked with disdain at her trowel.
“Here,” Scott picked it up, wiping the handle with his black t-shirt.
“Better?”
“You have no idea,” Kitty whispered to herself. “I’m such a chicken.”
“Why? Because you got scared of a snake?”
“Yeah, the others would just tease me if they knew.” Kitty knelt and began
to dig out the weeds in the ground.
“Can I trust you with a secret?” Scott lowered himself to lie on his back
next to her.
“Of course, I would never, ever tell anyone!”
“I’m absolutely deathly afraid of spiders. You should’ve seen how much Jean
mocked me the first time she saw me run from one.”

*Everybody wants you, everybody loves you*

Kitty’s heart broke inside her chest, as reality crashed back in. Jean. His
fiancée, the woman he cherished, worshipped, beautiful, smart, perfect
doctor he wanted to marry. She could never have his love; it was locked up
tight in someone else’s name.

*I know I should tell you how I feel*

Kitty couldn’t help but feel if he knew, he’d want her. Jean was too
perfect, and she laughed at him! Kitty could never laugh at anything Scott
did. He was too perfect. The way he always tried to help everyone, always
giving. She just wanted to give back to him so much.

*I wish everyone would disappear*

If only Jean was gone, than they could be together. She could already see
it. The way he would hold her, his arms wrapping around her waist. Always
protecting her. His kiss would be so warm and full of love she’d never need
anything else.

*Every time you call me
I'm too scared to be me*

“Kitty?” Kitty’s head snapped up to stare into the red glint of Scott’s
visor. “Are you alright?” Kitty looked around to realise she had fallen
asleep in class. “Kitty?”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” She grabbed her books hurriedly.
Scott placed a gentle hand on her elbow. “Is something wrong?”
‘YES!’ She screamed mentally. ‘I’m so head over heels in love with you I
think I‘m gonna die if I don’t tell you. But I can’t because you have Jean,
and no one could ever want me!’ Kitty shook her head no. “Nothing, just,
haven’t been sleeping well.”

*And I'm too shy to say*

“You know where my room is if you ever need to talk.” Scott let go of her
elbow. “I want to protect you Kitty, even if it’s just fro ma nightmare.
Anytime, you’re welcome.”
‘Oh do I ever know where your room is! Just ten steps away from mine.’ Kitty
smiled, “its just the whole thing with Rogue, it’s scary.”

*Ooh, I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do*

Scott pulled her into his arms. He hugged her warmly, kissing the top of her
head. “It’s over now, I would never let anyone hurt you. Understand me
Pretty Kitty?”
Kitty hugged onto him tightly, burying her face into his shoulder. ‘He
called me Pretty Kitty!’ She relaxed, letting the warmth of his body fill up
her heart.

*I get a rush when I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you (A crush on you)*

“Ok, go get ready for supper.” He let go, smiling down at her. “Talk to me
Kitty. I’m here for you.” He left the room, leaving the door open for her to
leave. Kitty leaned on her desk, the biggest grin over her face. “I think
I’m in love with you Scott Summers.” She looked up, and saw the picture of
Jean he kept on his desk. She couldn’t stop the lone tear that trailed down
her skin as she saw how lovingly is was placed.

*You know, I'm the one that you can talk to
And sometimes you tell me thing that I don't want to know*

“Kitty?” Scott knocked on the door. “Can I come in?”
“Sure.” Kitty sat up, patting the mattress next to her. “What’s wrong?”
Scott sat down, his head hung low. “Jean, she…I shouldn’t be bothering you
with this.”
“No, please.” Kitty held onto his wrist. “Friendship goes both ways, tell
me.”
“I saw her kiss Logan.” Scott gave out a small sob. His body jerked as he
tried to hold it back.

*I just want to hold you*

Kitty wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She whispered to him soothingly
as he cried quietly into her shoulder. Pressing her forehead against his,
she smiled gently. “It’s all gonna work out, don’t worry.”

*And you say exactly how you feel about her*

“How could she betray me like this? I love her so much. I’d do anything for
her. I don’t care what it takes. Anything, everything, all she has to do is
ask.” Scott wrapped his arms around Kitty’s waist pulling her closer.
“I don’t know how she could. Everyone can see you worship her. She’s
incredibly stupid if she’s willing to throw that all away.”

*And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way
A crush on you*

‘Oh Scott! How can you not know how much I love you?! You’ve come to me for
comfort, I give it. I’m willing to give you all of me. Anything, and yet you
want her. She’s broken your trust, betrayed you. Yet you want her. Why can’t
it just be me? Could it be though? She hurt you, you seeked me out. Scott,
please tell me there’s something in your heart that is calling out for me
like I call for you.’

*Ooh, I wish I could tell somebody
But there's no one to talk to*

“I should go. It would be wrong for me to stay here. Kitty, thank you, from
the bottom of my heart, thank you.” Scott stood up, still holding Kitty
close. “Right now you’re the only person I think I can talk to.”
‘Why can’t I have someone to talk to? I need someone to hold me, to help me.
Why can’t it be you? Scott, please, let me into your heart.’ Kitty gave him
a squeeze, and released him. “Whenever you need me. My door is open.”
“As is mine.” Scott kissed her forehead lightly. “Thank you Pretty Kitty.”

*Nobody knows I've got a crush on you
A crush on you, I got a crush*

Kitty watched as he left. Throwing herself onto her bed, she buried her face
into her pillow. Tears flowed freely from her eyes. “It’s just not fair,”
she sobbed. “How can I stand to be here when I love him so much? I want his
touch, his love. Why can’t it just be me? Nobody knows, and it’s not fair!”

*You say everything that no one says*

“Pretty Kitty.” She wiped at her tears, looking at the bedside clock. “How
can he call me that, I’m not. Everyone knows it, yet he calls me that. Why
can’t he just love me back? Why can’t I just be perfect for him? I want to
be; I try so hard. Scott, I love you.”

*But I feel everything that you're afraid to feel
I will always want you, I will always love you*

“No matter what happens, I’ll love you. Even when you go back to her. Even
when you marry her. Even when she has your kid. Even if she leaves you for
another man, again and again. If you come crying to me, I’ll give you my
comfort. You have my love. Even if you wonder if it is your kid, I’ll love
you. When you know its not and love them anyways, I’ll love you even more.”
Kitty pulled a blanket over her body, and went to sleep. Dreaming of a day
Scott might be loving her instead.

*I've got a crush...*